Without Porpoise

by Derek Erdman

$15.00
$18.00 17% off List Price

Printed to order.

Ships in 3-5 business days

Baby Blue
New
Limit 15 per customer
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There Once Was A Man From Nantucket

The most important thing you can do for your family is to protect them after you die.

But just a simple piece of paper might not be enough. There are hundreds of aquatic scoundrels who travel the country, looking for sad and lonely widows and widowers who fear being left alone forever.

They come on like big fish, just there for companionship, but in reality, they are mammals, wanting the same thing all mammals want. Before long that polite gentleman who always takes out the trash is ordering shrimp by the truckload and having a giant water tank added to the backyard… all with the money you meant for your loved ones to have.

Lawyers joke about it amongst themselves. The moment there’s a will, there’s a whale. Don’t leave your loved ones to figure out their own way in a moment of supreme grief. Invest in a giant squid, and keep your family safe… in the long term.

This message brought to you by the International Foundation For Giant Squids.

Wear this shirt: if you’re a whale who really wants to be in the Green Lantern Corps. Marketing never hurt anyone. It’s even the right color so you can impress the bosses.

Don’t wear this shirt: when lying on the beach. It might seem funny, but people don’t like to be fooled into pushing other people into the water.

This shirt tells the world: “Will’s around here somewhere, hang on, I’ll get him.”

We call this color: Baby Blue Whale (awwwwww)

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Features

Pantone Colors:
Black -White

Features:
• Fiber Content: 4.5 oz 100% Combed Ringspun Cotton
• Manufactured In: Honduras/Nicaragua
• Printed In Carrollton, Texas, USA
• These shirts are printed to order. That means most of the time, we'll be printing using DTG technology

Sizing Chart:
Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
0m 31.000s
First Sucker:
polarism
Last Wooter to Woot:
anglophilews

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 95% second woot
  • 5% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 12% joined today
  • 1% one week old
  • 6% one month old
  • 37% one year old
  • 44% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 95% bought 1
  • 4% bought 2
  • 0% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

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Percentage of Sales Per Day

0%
94%
2%
1%
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Woots by State

zero wooters wootinglots of wooters wooting

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Without Porpoise by Derek Erdman
$15.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$15.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.