Love is Messy

by wootbot


The wild ice cream is a creature of pleasure.

3 peculiar mating habits of wild ice creams: 

1) Before mating, the male ice cream spends an hour in the sun. When he is sufficiently melty, he returns to his cave, leaving a sugary trail that interested female ice creams can follow. Also, this serves the purpose of attracting ants, which play a crucial and disgusting role in the mating process.

2) Wild ice creams mate for life. Meaning, they pretty much spend every waking hour of their lives preparing for or in the act of getting it on. Also, wild ice creams don't sleep. So really, the only way to tell if a wild ice cream is dead or alive is to check if it's mating with something.

3) While mating, both the male and female ice creams emit a series of strange noises. These noises always sound exactly the same and occur in the exact same order, regardless of the participating parties, season, or environment. To the naked ear, it would seem to be just a bunch of long squeals and clicking noises; however, when recorded and played back at 390 times speed, the whole thing sounds a little something like this.