by wootbot

Not a Sheep

4th Place in Derby #300: What makes me different, with 242 votes!

Keep off the grass? You want me to keep off the grass? You know who I am? You think I follow signs? No. Way. I've never EVER seen a sign I've abided by. 

I've parked in thousands of no parking zones. You know what I say, tow my car if you wanna tow my car. You think towing a single car is gonna stop me? You think I don't have more cars? I've loitered in front of thousands of convenience stores too. And I don't even pretend I'm doing anything else. In fact, I yell, "loiterin' here!"

No dumping? You know what I read: pro dumping. And I am a pro. At dumping. Beware of dog? I don't even look at that dog. In fact, when I see a sign like that, I force myself to forget that dog before moving on so I am actively unaware of it. Runaway truck ramp? I only drive my fully in-control trucks up those things! 

And you know how in the grocery store where they tell you what's down a certain aisle. No way! I don't let some store organizer tell me where I get baking stuff! 

C'mon people! Don't be pushed around! Wake up! Quit acting like sheep! Wait a minuteā€¦