Unleash your inner Kraken!
"Hi, I'm Blithe Sharep and I'm here to tell you about Kraken- a great new product to help you lose weight and sprout extra arms! As you can see from this unedited 'before' photo, the early 2010s were a rough time for me. I lost my real estate license for cabinet fraud, and the only solace I found was in Dip-n-Dots ice cream. But look at me now! I'm lean, I'm toned, and I'm working out with 6 extra arms! No longer do I struggle to juggle the various responsibilities in my life. I've got a handle on everything- and so can you! With the all new Kraken body building system you can harness the power of the monster of the sea. All for just three easy payments of $99.99. Kraken- unleash the inner you!"