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benjaminleebates


quality posts: 18 Private Messages benjaminleebates

Herman Munster was eaten by a kid. He did not deserve to die that way!

You can find my shirts for sale HERE or THERE!

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"A minute ago it was... tiny. But then I hit it, and now I'm a happy camper."

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"Pat said 'hump.'"

Schrobblehead


quality posts: 2 Private Messages Schrobblehead

Contractor 1: Adidas stands for “All day I dream about sex.”
contractor 2: “No way! Really?”

I'm a Christmas Unicorn! In a uniform made of gold, with a billy-goat beard, and a sorcerer's shield, and mistletoe on my nose!

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"Sure, it smells good now, but just wait a couple of hours."

GrumpyoldBear


quality posts: 0 Private Messages GrumpyoldBear
chris12345 wrote:[in a restaurant, loudly] Intercourse! [grand pause, then quieter but still loud enough to be heard from a few tables away] That's a word you shouldn't yell out.



Unless you happen to be in southeastern Pennsylvania.

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"There's going to be a strange man standing around here for a little while. Just ignore him and go about your business."

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"It's okay, you can hold it and smell it."

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"Can I pee under your legs? Can I pee under your legs? Heh heh heh..."

ThunderThighs


quality posts: 1037 Private Messages ThunderThighs

Staff

kenney9226 wrote:"Can I pee under your legs? Can I pee under your legs? Heh heh heh..."


You work in a very weird place.


** You must log in with Amazon EVERY time **
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CANCEL?? How to cancel your order in the first 2 hours!! - except orders with expedited items

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"I don't like the smell, but I like the feel."

Xexus


quality posts: 6 Private Messages Xexus

On hearing that Jessica Parker will go shopping with anyone for $400 ... "Why would anyone pay that when you can rent a real horse for $200?"

Signature censored by Woot

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"Anywhere it fits is fine..."

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"It's self-explanetary."

bestsportnascar


quality posts: 49 Private Messages bestsportnascar

Not an "overheard," but there was hair in the sink at work today. Someone is friggin shaving at work.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"It's okay, I'll just whip off my shirt!"

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"I don't bite into anything that's hard."

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"Let me pull this out and see if I can get it to work."

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"You came really fast. That was weird."

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"I just feel that I need to dangle this here. It's just so cute, everybody should see it."

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"I didn't know she did that, but I like it, it helps it to pop out."

eew3


quality posts: 2 Private Messages eew3

Aren't lotlizards prostitutes that do their business in truck stop parking lots?

PemberDucky wrote:...or shopping mall, or gym, or truck stop parking lot. Wherever you spend your time, lotlizards.

I'd say that I hear something completely absurd here at work at least once a day. I've decided to start logging these nuggets, and I invite you to join, EBW. I've got three to get started:

1. "Yeah! They lactate stardust!"

2. "Well, maybe here, but I promise it's not that uncommon in Sweden and Germany."

3. Co-worker A: "How do you know so damn much about ostriches?"
Co-worker B: "Uh, hello?! I went to school!"



kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"Just put it in my hand and see what happens in ten seconds."

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"I guess I ate too much cheese yesterday."

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"I'm having a hard time sticking it in that hole back there."

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"We have some good lotions at home. I used some this morning."

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"Are you trying to make me drink? I mean, what the hell?"

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"It must be so hard to go so long without waffle fries."

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"Preparation H. That'll probably do it."

mbspell


quality posts: 42 Private Messages mbspell

over the intercom at work “the turkey’s in the hallway”


(I work in a pharmacy. I guess the turkey is tired of the snow & wants to warm up lol)



WoosterRooster


quality posts: 2 Private Messages WoosterRooster
mbspell wrote:over the intercom at work “the turkey’s in the hallway”


(I work in a pharmacy. I guess the turkey is tired of the snow & wants to warm up lol)

... followed by "Clean-up in isle 6"...

I'm Wooster, the Woot Rooster

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"I brought something hot and am going to need to use both hands."

bestsportnascar


quality posts: 49 Private Messages bestsportnascar

Someone in the stairwell as I was walking up on their cellphone:

"I didn't even know we were in a relationship.I thought you broke up with me."

I think someone is in trouble.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"I didn't step on my dick, so I'm okay."

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"I guess I better put on some mascara, KELLY told me I have bags under my eyes!"

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"Is that 'girl' blue or 'blue' blue?"

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"I'm just stating a fact: these are sweet and salty nuts."

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"I can't believe you smelled them."

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"Why am I getting stiffer?"

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"Do you wanna know if I'm going through menopause? Is that the question you're trying to ask me, Marcus? Because you can ask me if I'm in menopause. Yes, I'm of that age!"