Oh, please, oh, please, oh PLEASE.
I NEED this shirt. If I don't have it, I'll probably die.
Actually, I'll definitely die if I don't have it.
(Granted, I'll die if I DO have it--death being unavoidable and all that--so I guess my argument is moot.)
I'd be happier than a pig in a puddle if y'all would be so kind as 'ta bring this here shirt back.
(Who may, possibly, need to lay off the caffeine.)