Mavyn
quality posts: 24
Private Messages
orabbit wrote:Is this too wordy? Maybe I've obfuscated the joke of getting Game Boy Thumb. I'm not sure if I can use "Game Boy" or not.
I'm still working on the portrait of the good Doctor. That guy is just a place holder.

i like the joke, but the 'None Its Equal' phrase grates. Change it to 'Without an equal' maybe? I'd also come up with more amusing names for the ailments. Than 'pains' and 'cramps'. Something like...'Digit-umbago' or 'phalange ache relief' or 'ailments of the appendage'
My speech is not parsing. I am speaking in ellipsis.