The important thing is that your candy tattoo is meaningful to you.

Lookin’ to get some ink? Is this your first time? Right on. We get a lot of Spring Breakers and college kids looking to get something to commemorate the occasion. Alright, got anything in mind?

A butterfly on your lower back? Wow. Original.

Oookay, well as long as you’re going for the totally unique gesture of permanently scarring your body with artwork you might as well go for something that every other woman who comes here asks for. Want a rose on your ankle? We’ll throw it in for free if you let me do it left-handed. I do enough of ‘em that it’s the only way to make it interesting.

Oh wow, it’s the same candy your mom used to eat to fight her cravings when she was pregnant with you. Amazing. What an interesting story to permanently commit to your skin. That’ll be $180, cash, and that doesn’t include tip.

Wear this shirt: If you work at one of those super cool rockabilly confectioneries.

Don’t wear this shirt: To your audition for the next season of The Biggest Loser.

This shirt tells the world: “My doctor advised against my getting a tattoo, on account of the diabetes preventing it from healing properly.”

We call this color: Brown Sugar

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