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Defensive Driver

by Joby Cummings

$19.00 + free shipping
Kelly Green
Limit 15 per customer
  • Standard - Estimated delivery Sep 23 - Sep 25
  • Express - Estimated delivery Sep 21
  • Free Express shipping for Prime members

Won’t Come Back From Dead Man’s Curve

There’s a story that the Air Force did a study, and found that there was a single color that made planes almost invisible to the naked eye at all hours. That color was a pale pink. The Air Force shook their heads and decided to never talk about it again.

Why, you might ask? Because modern war isn’t about efficiency, or simple goals, or well-thought strategies that make long term gains with minimal and temporary cost to the nation. Modern war is about scaring the pants off of them so that they submit to our economic policies without complaint! You think a whole bunch of pink invisible planes are going to manage that? Not a chance! The only thing those jerkfaces are going to respect is a sixty ton Christine jumping over a sand dune.

Sunlight gleaming off chrome teeth, missiles shooting in every direction, “La Cucaracha” blasting on the horn, it’s an image that just grabs you somewhere inside and whispers “Surrender Dorothy.” Sure, you can pretend we’re wrong if you want, but let’s be honest here about who REALLY did more in the war against the Soviet Union. Was it Ronald Reagan and his historic meeting with General Secretary Gorbachev… or Megaforce?

This shirt was designed by: Joby Cummings, who has done other stuff for us in the past, but really, we’re only giving him these commissions so that his girlfriend will like us better. Seriously, she’s a total babe. And that accent! Like honey on gluten-free ice cream. As a great man once said, “How about you drop that zero and get with a hero?”

Wear this shirt: on Sunday! SUNDAY! SUNDAY! when you’re turnin’ your back yard into a monster MUD PIT.

Don’t wear this shirt: if you’re the sort of loser who quotes Vanilla Ice at perfectly charming ladies who have boyfriends. You might as well just go bare-chested and offer them two free tickets to the gun show. Très unclassy.

This shirt tells the world: “I only race for pink slips. And love. And maybe beer.”

We call this color: Mean Kelly Green Machine

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Our graphic tees are made for all those days (see every day) that you need to get shirt done! Our professionally printed t-shirts are produced in-house to create an experience you will never forget.

Seriously, our t-shirts have been a graphic tee loving enthusiast's favorite since 2007. Our t-shirt designs are created by the best artists in the industry. We know that the combination of our t-shirts, exclusive design selection, world-class artists, and quality production, makes people smile.

Sizing Chart:

Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Classic T-Shirt Fit:

This shirt is made for those of you that like a looser fitting shirt (classic seemed appropriate)! This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look Woot-astic!

  • Standard fit (slightly boxy t-shirt, a little loose)
  • Fiber Content: 4.5 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: Honduras
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Fitted T-Shirt Fit:

Our fitted t-shirts are made for those times when you want to feel slimmer — or when you want to go out on the town — or just because you like fitted shirts 'cause you're slim and stuff. This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look fit-astic (get it?)!

  • Fitted T-Shirt fit (narrower shoulder and body)
  • Fiber Content: 4.2 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: USA, Central America, Vietnam or Bangladesh
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA


Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
0m 49.000s
First Sucker:
Last Wooter to Woot:

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 95% second woot
  • 5% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 5% joined today
  • 1% one week old
  • 4% one month old
  • 44% one year old
  • 46% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 95% bought 1
  • 4% bought 2
  • 1% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

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Defensive Driver by Joby Cummings
$19.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$19.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.