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Feztive Primate

by james flanders

$19.00 + free shipping
Grass
Tee
Limit 15 per customer
  • Standard - Estimated delivery Oct 28 - Oct 30
  • Express - Estimated delivery Oct 26
  • Free Express shipping for Prime members

Okay, gentlemen. We need a new tourism slogan and we need it yesterday.

Quick. Give me a rundown of everything we know about Australia!

“Uh, didn’t it start as like a prison or penal colony or something?”

The whole country?

“I think so.”

Okay, well that’s not going to make people want to visit, knowing the entire continent is inhabited solely by convicts and their descendants. How do we spin it?

“Movie tie-in, maybe a sequel to Escape From New York.”

Love it. Next fact!

“They like shrimp. And Barbie dolls, for some reason.”

Well we- seriously?

“Yeah. That’s like all they talk about down there. ‘Shrimps and Barbies!’ I think it’s kind of like how that word ‘Aloha’ means like 80 different words for Hawaiians because they’re lazy.”

Okay, you know the drill fellas. Spin it!

“We do a cross-brand promotion with Mattel. Shrimp Barbie. She’s got cute pincers, maybe a tail you can crack open and eat. Comes with an Australian flag.”

Do they have a flag?

“I believe it’s upside down because of the hemisphere, but I’m 70% sure they have one. I’ll have the interns confirm.”

Good. Get those Wikipedia folks on that. Alright, keep ‘em coming people!

“Everything down there can kill you in like two minutes.”

What do you mean?

“Seriously. Everything. Spiders, ants, snakes, jellyfish, octopus, even the snails down there can be deadly.”

Jesus. No wonder they hired us to get people excited about tourism. Okay, skip that. People can worry about all the deadly crap AFTER they land and get off the plane. New idea. Quickly!

“They all drink Foster’s!”

THWACK!

YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH, PETERS!

“Did you…did you just SLAP me?!”

I don’t care if they ARE backwater savages descended from the dregs of society living in a harsh wasteland teeming with death at every possible turn. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO IMPLY THEY WOULD EVER DRINK SOMETHING SO TERRIBLE AS FOSTER’S! THEY’RE STILL PEOPLE, DAMMIT.

“B-b-b-but it’s Australian for-”

IT’S AUSTRALIAN FOR ‘YOU’RE FIRED,’ IS WHAT IT’S AUSTRALIAN FOR! GET OUT!

Guillen, Peters is out. You’re in. Get your gorilla idea to the printers ASAP.

Wear this shirt: Upside down to simulate what it’s like on the Southern Hemisphere.

Don’t wear this shirt: In Australia. They don’t even have gorillas there.

This shirt tells the world: “This and Crocodile Dundee are pretty much the extent of my efforts to learn about those guys.”

We call this color: Grass on ya, mate.

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Features

Our graphic tees are made for all those days (see every day) that you need to get shirt done! Our professionally printed t-shirts are produced in-house to create an experience you will never forget.

Seriously, our t-shirts have been a graphic tee loving enthusiast's favorite since 2007. Our t-shirt designs are created by the best artists in the industry. We know that the combination of our t-shirts, exclusive design selection, world-class artists, and quality production, makes people smile.

Sizing Chart:

Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Classic T-Shirt Fit:

This shirt is made for those of you that like a looser fitting shirt (classic seemed appropriate)! This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look Woot-astic!

  • Standard fit (slightly boxy t-shirt, a little loose)
  • Fiber Content: 4.5 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: Honduras
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Fitted T-Shirt Fit:

Our fitted t-shirts are made for those times when you want to feel slimmer — or when you want to go out on the town — or just because you like fitted shirts 'cause you're slim and stuff. This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look fit-astic (get it?)!

  • Fitted T-Shirt fit (narrower shoulder and body)
  • Fiber Content: 4.2 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: USA, Central America, Vietnam or Bangladesh
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Specs

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
1m 19.000s
First Sucker:
crazacool
Last Wooter to Woot:
MrAutonomous

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 94% second woot
  • 6% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 10% joined today
  • 1% one week old
  • 3% one month old
  • 26% one year old
  • 61% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 94% bought 1
  • 5% bought 2
  • 1% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

10%
5%
2%
2%
1%
1%
3%
4%
5%
7%
5%
5%
6%
6%
5%
4%
4%
3%
4%
3%
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4%
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4%
12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

87%
6%
1%
2%
2%
1%
1%
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

Woots by State

zero wooters wootinglots of wooters wooting

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Feztive Primate by james flanders
$19.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$19.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.