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Final Approach

by Matt Leyen

$19.00 + free shipping
Limit 15 per customer
  • Standard - Estimated delivery May 25 - May 28
  • Express - Estimated delivery May 24
  • Free Express shipping for Prime members

Hey, Bill. Heard you finally found a job! How’s it working out?

The new job? I, uh, I don’t really like to talk about it.

It’s fine, I guess. It’s more money and better benefits than my last gig, anyway. In a way, I guess I’m pretty lucky to have gotten it, especially in this economy and with that stupid theatre degree of mine. I just thought it’d be different than what it is. I guess maybe I should’ve asked more questions during the interview process. I just figured when the ad said I’d be helping to guide aircraft in for a landing it meant more “traditional” aircraft. Planes. Charter jets. Helicopters, maybe.

I mean, sure, I knew what they do at MutoCorp. I’m not stupid. I figured I’d see some pretty crazy stuff, but this… It’s just really stressful. And I keep thinking I’ll just get used to it, but the adjustment to having great flying armored beasts fly at you day after day is pretty severe. The mouse gray jumpsuit doesn’t exactly instill me with confidence, either. Every time one of those avian monstrosities comes swooping in to Branch 47, I just keep thinking “Please don’t think I’m dinner please don’t think I’m dinner please don’t think I’m dinner”. I’ll be honest, I don’t think I’ve slept more than an hour at a time since I started. All I hear is their awful piercing screeches in my nightmares.

Quit? No way, man, I can’t quit. It was hard enough finding THIS job, much less any other. I promised the wife we’d try to get pregnant this year, too, and there’s no way we can do that with me unemployed. It’ll be fine. If I stick with it and do my best, maybe I can move up to Laser Squid Containment. I hear those guys live the sweet life.

Wear this shirt: around birds of a feather. They tend to flock together.

Don’t wear this shirt: to a midnight showing of Hitchcock’s “The Birds”.

This shirt tells the world: “Fast bird? You’ve never heard of the Extremely Large And Heavily Armored Falcon?”

We call this color: Feather Heather Gray

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Our graphic tees are made for all those days (see every day) that you need to get shirt done! Our professionally printed t-shirts are produced in-house to create an experience you will never forget.

Seriously, our t-shirts have been a graphic tee loving enthusiast's favorite since 2007. Our t-shirt designs are created by the best artists in the industry. We know that the combination of our t-shirts, exclusive design selection, world-class artists, and quality production, makes people smile.

Sizing Chart:

Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Classic T-Shirt Fit:

This shirt is made for those of you that like a looser fitting shirt (classic seemed appropriate)! This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look Woot-astic!

  • Standard fit (slightly boxy t-shirt, a little loose)
  • Fiber Content: 4.5 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: Honduras
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Fitted T-Shirt Fit:

Our fitted t-shirts are made for those times when you want to feel slimmer — or when you want to go out on the town — or just because you like fitted shirts 'cause you're slim and stuff. This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look fit-astic (get it?)!

  • Fitted T-Shirt fit (narrower shoulder and body)
  • Fiber Content: 4.2 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: USA, Central America, Vietnam or Bangladesh
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA


Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
0m 22.000s
First Sucker:
Last Wooter to Woot:

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 95% second woot
  • 5% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 12% joined today
  • 3% one week old
  • 3% one month old
  • 36% one year old
  • 46% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 95% bought 1
  • 4% bought 2
  • 1% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

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Final Approach by Matt Leyen
$19.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$19.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.