Let’s just get over it, okay? Facebook controls our lives, and that’s just the way it is.
Let’s just stop pretending shall we? Let’s give up this ruse that we can just give up Facebook anytime, okay? It’s part of us now. A guiding part of us.
It’s where we go to announce our accomplishments. Or to cry about how much fun all of our friends are having because they haven’t graduated college yet. Or to rant about politics that we don’t understand. Or to track each and every stage of our pregnancies, sometimes with unnecessarily graphic details and photos.
We can not only watch movies on it, as in movies someone has posted to Facebook; we can also watch movies on it, as in movies about Facebook.
It’s even where we go when we need an easy and convenient way to communicate, to all of our friends at once, just how stupid and useless Facebook is. See, even its detractors can’t stay away. That’s how you build a business with a projected $5 billion dollar IPO: by making it so that the haters who gonna hate end up using your thing to hate on your thing.
So c’mon, it’s time to buy a shirt about it, a shirt that takes an old phrase and Facebook-ized it. Seriously, we’ve already Facebook-ized everything else in our lives, so why not our apparel?
Wear this shirt: to a networking event.
Don’t wear this shirt: when you’re visiting your grandma. You’ll be lucky if you get to the part where you say, “And then, so, when people post stuff, there’s this button you can click” before you lose her.
This shirt tells the world: “Just because we’re addicted doesn’t mean we can’t POKE fun! GET IT??!”
We call this color: Royal Blue, or, as it’ll be known in the future, Zukerbergian Blue.
Back to top