I Still Hear His Horrible Snicker
“YAY! Daddy’s home from hunting with… Daddy, where’s Roscoe?”
“Roscoe? I don’t remember any Roscoe living here, honey.”
“The dog, silly daddy!”
“Oh. Oh, right. The dog. Yes, well, I suppose he decided to, uh, stay behind.”
“Wha? Not my special laughing puppy!”
“I’m afraid so, sweetie. It’s, um, going to be okay, though! Yeah, because he’s, uh, going to keep all the ducks company for the rest of the year, you see. That’s why he stayed! Yes, isn’t that clever? Such a brave dog, that Roscoe. Such a brave, patronizing, condescending, giggling little mutt I MEAN GOOD PUPPY! Very good good good good puppy!”
“Daddy, why is your face all red?”
“DON’T YOU SASS ME, TOO, YOUNG MAN. Oh, god, I’m sorry. I just miss the dog like you do, but it’s really for the best, okay? He’s going to be fine. Hey, this way, Roscoe’s already there for Daddy’s next big hunting trip. Isn’t that great?”
“Can I go with you to visit him next time, Daddy?”
“NO! I mean, hunting is for big boys, buddy. Maybe when you’re much much older and have forgotten completely about Roscoe. Now why don’t you grab a coat and we’ll go to the pet store for a new puppy! One that doesn’t mock your father’s hunting prowess every chance he gets, huh? Heh. Heh HEH. How does that sound?! HA HA. I THINK IT SOUNDS LOVELY! AHAHAHaha…”
Wear this shirt: if twenty years ago, the world as you knew it changed forever.
Don’t wear this shirt: if you’re a member of People For The Ethical Treatment Of Virtual Animals.
This shirt tells the world: “I Zapper Ducks.” Or, “I Zap Ducks.” It’s open to interpretation is what I’m trying to say.
We call this color: Duck Blind Black
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