But I guess he was always a mysterious guy hiding a lot.

Was he stuck in the can? Did he just have such an obsessive compulsion to hide that he did so until his untimely death? Did he write the note right before he died? This thing has more plot holes than Lost.

Is this in the desert? How is he completely desiccated and peeled of flesh like that? Did it all slough off into that flat wooden barrel/trash can thing? Is that a skeleton torso just floating in a thick, fetid soup of Waldo flesh?

Look, we appreciate a goofy cultural reference to something completely inane as much as the next t-shirt site, but this. This just defies logic. Each possible solution only opens three more riddles to be solved. We’re guessing ol’ stripe would’ve wanted it that way.

Wear this shirt: In trash cans. Or wooden barrels.

Don’t wear this shirt: While hiding. The stripes are pretty visible.

This shirt tells the world: “What are you hiding from?! LET ME LOVE YOU!”

We call this color: I don’t have any more clever puns for an Asphalt tee.

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