Okay, time to review our moon phases for the quiz tomorrow.
"Now what do we call it when just a teeny tiny sliver is visible?"
"New Moon."
"Exactly. Think of it as a brand new baby moon just starting out. Or think of Kristen Stewart as having just the teeniest tiniest sliver of acting ability in that New Moon movie. Now what about when you get the famous boomerang shape?"
"Crescent!"
"It is a crescent, yes, but how do you know if it's waxing or waning?"
"A waxing crescent comes after the New Moon. And it looks like a closed parenthesis."
"Good! What comes next?"
"Half moon?"
"No, good guess, but think about the moon: it's a sphere, right? So we're not seeing half, we're only seeing a…"
"Quarter moon!"
"Yes, and since it's the first time we're seeing it, it must be…"
"First Quarter!"
"Excellent!"
"Next is the Waxing Gibbous."
"Great work, you're getting ahead of me. After the Waxing Gibbous is everyone's favorite."
"Full Moon!"
"That's right! And now it's just in reverse order. It's not a Waxing Gibbous, it's a…"
"Waning Gibbous!"
"Followed by?"
"Third Quarter!"
"And finally…"
"Waning Crescent!"
"Great! You kids are gonna do fine on the quiz."
"Mr. Organa?"
"Yes, Lamaredd?"
"What phase is it when the moon has a giant green laser shooting out of it?"
"Well that's not a phase at all, Lamaredd, that's a- Oh. Oh no. Let's just keep reviewing children."
"But the moon!"
"Don't worry about the moon, children. Let's just review. There's nothing we can do about the moon now. It'll all be over soon."
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Don't wear this shirt: To Alderaan. It's not even there any more, man. Too soon.
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