1st place in Derby #131: Palindromes, with 824 votes!
Well, Mr. and Mrs. Rubenstein, as you can see this house is just perfect for a couple like you who’s just starting out. Plenty of space, nicely tucked away from the hustle and bustle of the city, GORGEOUS view of the mountains… Oh, so you’ll take it?! That’s wonderful! I’m so glad to hear that!
There’s, uh, just one small detail I should probably tell you about. Very minor. Nothing to be too concerned about. It’s just that the house is… well, it’s haunted. Well, not so much “haunted” as “built on a mound containing a portal into a sinister mirror world of evil that maaaaaay open from time to time allowing the demons and wraiths of that world access into ours so that they might feast on your very souls”.
ALLEGEDLY. We just feel that, for legal purposes, we should let you know. I mean, it’s not like that kind of thing is something that comes up in a routine inspection, HAHA ha… ha… yeah. Oh, and no one knows what happened to the previous owners. I guess I should mention that, too.
Sooooo, how about we go back to the office and get started on that paperwork? No? Tell you what, how about I knock ten grand off the price and throw in closing costs? Does that change your mind?
Wear this shirt: while attempting to save your daughter from another plane of existence.
Don’t wear this shirt: anywhere near the Necronomicon.
This shirt tell the world: “Yeah, the bleeding walls are a little inconvenient, but what house doesn’t have a little personality?”
We call this color: Shadow Plane Asphalt
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