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by Dan Rule

$19.00 + free shipping
Limit 15 per customer
  • Standard - Estimated delivery Dec 15 - Dec 16
  • Express - Estimated delivery Dec 13
  • Free Express shipping for Prime members

Money Changes Everything

Karl Marx said that communism would just have to happen all by itself. It was Lenin who got all impatient and forced the issue. Marx said we should just sit around and wait because it would take a whole new mindset before the world could change. Which is a nice way of saying “everyone everywhere is a self-centered jerk but me.” And this especially applies to that person who’s about to say that we’re misrepresenting Marxism. Go back to Russia, you commie! And say hi to all the Russian capitalists when you get there!

It’s sad, really, because who could hate the idea that we can all band together and do nice things? Especially since it really would work if everyone did it. But there’s always that one person, usually with a popped collar, who sees a chance to be in front and goes for it. And then what can you do? You have to keep up. Even the hippies only lasted until about 1968.

Maybe one day we’ll all be in starships with replicators enjoying an intergalactic Marxian Utopia. But right now, we’re on Earth, in a heated game of hammer, sickle, paper. And since that paper allows you buy a hammer and sickle, can there really be much of a competition?

This shirt was designed by: Dan Rule, who clearly needs to better understand the digestive system before he starts designing monsters. But at least we don’t have to clean up after the snake.

Wear this shirt: to show that you support unrestrained capitalism! Unless maybe the rich people make a great big mistake, and then socialism would be okay for just a little while.

Don’t wear this shirt: around that professor who believes property is theft. You know, the one who makes you buy his book for the class. Just because he’s rich and tenured doesn’t mean he’s happy about it.

This shirt tells the world: “Awesome wins again!”

We call this color: All Property Is Theft But Even Thieves Still Have To Cut The Grass

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Our graphic tees are made for all those days (see every day) that you need to get shirt done! Our professionally printed t-shirts are produced in-house to create an experience you will never forget.

Seriously, our t-shirts have been a graphic tee loving enthusiast's favorite since 2007. Our t-shirt designs are created by the best artists in the industry. We know that the combination of our t-shirts, exclusive design selection, world-class artists, and quality production, makes people smile.

Sizing Chart:

Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Classic T-Shirt Fit:

This shirt is made for those of you that like a looser fitting shirt (classic seemed appropriate)! This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look Woot-astic!

  • Standard fit (slightly boxy t-shirt, a little loose)
  • Fiber Content: 4.5 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: Honduras
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Fitted T-Shirt Fit:

Our fitted t-shirts are made for those times when you want to feel slimmer — or when you want to go out on the town — or just because you like fitted shirts 'cause you're slim and stuff. This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look fit-astic (get it?)!

  • Fitted T-Shirt fit (narrower shoulder and body)
  • Fiber Content: 4.2 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: USA, Central America, Vietnam or Bangladesh
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA


Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
1m 2.000s
First Sucker:
Last Wooter to Woot:

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 96% second woot
  • 4% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 11% joined today
  • 2% one week old
  • 6% one month old
  • 40% one year old
  • 42% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 96% bought 1
  • 3% bought 2
  • 1% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

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$ by Dan Rule
$19.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$19.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.