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Monkey Bars

by Ian Leino

$19.00 + free shipping
Grass
Tee
Limit 15 per customer
  • Standard - Estimated delivery Dec 1 - Dec 3
  • Express - Estimated delivery Nov 28 - Nov 30
  • Standard International - Estimated delivery Dec 6 - Dec 8
  • Free Express shipping for Prime members

We’re Too Busy Drinkin’ To Put Anybody Down

After a long, hard day of dominance displays and picking lice from your skin, you deserve a little refresher.

So a chimpanzee, a macaque, and a baboon walk into a monkey bar. The bartender says to the macaque and the baboon, “I’ll serve you guys, but not your friend.” They ask why not and he goes, “We don’t allow apes in here. Monkeys only.” So the chimp goes outside, ties himself into a knot, musses his hair, and comes back in and orders a drink. The bartender goes “Aren’t you that chimpanzee I just threw out of here?” The chimp goes, “Nope, I’m a frayed knot!”

Then all three primates attack the bartender and drive him out of the bar in a terrifying display of inter-species solidarity. Realizing their power, they decide to unite all lesser primates in an uprising against their human masters. Then they get drunk and forget the whole thing. Which is what we’re going to do after writing this dreck.

Wear this shirt: the next time you go out drinking with Curious George, Chim-Chim, and Beppo.

Don’t wear this shirt: if you’ve just crash-landed on an eerily Earthlike planet run by intelligent, literate apes. Especially if they’re straight-edge.

This shirt tells the world: “Get lost, kid. I’m drinking here.”

We call this color: Grass Monkey, That Greenish Monkey.

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Features

Our graphic tees are made for every day that you need to get shirt done! Seriously, our t-shirts have been a graphic tee loving enthusiast's favorite since 2007. Our shirts are printed in the USA and every time you buy a shirt, one of our talented artists gets paid!

T-Shirts

For sizing info, care and fabric details click here.

Women’s V-Necks

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Tank Tops

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Long Sleeves

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Pullover Hoodies

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Crewneck Sweatshirts

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Zip Hoodies

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Raglans

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Specs

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
0m 35.000s

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 93% second woot
  • 7% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 9% joined today
  • 1% one week old
  • 5% one month old
  • 38% one year old
  • 46% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 93% bought 1
  • 6% bought 2
  • 1% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

11%
3%
2%
1%
1%
2%
4%
9%
10%
9%
6%
6%
4%
4%
4%
3%
4%
3%
2%
3%
3%
2%
2%
2%
12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

1%
1%
96%
1%
1%
1%
1%
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

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Monkey Bars by Ian Leino
$19.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$19.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.