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My Opening Act

by acraigl

$19.00 + free shipping
Brown
Tee
Limit 15 per customer
  • Standard - Estimated delivery Oct 27 - Oct 28
  • Express - Estimated delivery Oct 25
  • Free Express shipping for Prime members

2nd place in Derby #561: Complex Simple Machines!

And now for my opening act!

[Comedian opens beer; laughter]

Just gotta butter up the crowd first.

[Comedian butters toast; laughter]

Get them chirping a little bit.

[Comedian releases 40 doves into theater; laughter]

And remind them to tip their waiters.

[Comedian pushes waiter who falls slowly to the ground; laughter]

Because, once the show starts, I'm going to be slinging fire.

[Comedian shoots fireball; laughter]

Seriously, this material is going to slay.

[Dragon appears on stage; comedian takes out ax, swings it at the dragon; dragon dodges; laughter]

I said, this material is going to SLAY.

[Comedian swings ax again; dragon dodges a second time; laughter]

I'm sorry, maybe you didn't hear me when I said this material is going to--

[Dragon reaches out and snatches comedian into his mouth; uncomfortable silence as dragon proceeds to eat comedian; when finished, dragon steps to mic]

You know, maney comeeduns say, 'whup is deal wif air-plun fud.' But me say, 'air-plun is fud!'

[Wild laughter and applause]

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Features

Our graphic tees are made for every day that you need to get shirt done! Seriously, our t-shirts have been a graphic tee loving enthusiast's favorite since 2007. Our shirts are printed in the USA and every time you buy a shirt, one of our talented artists gets paid!

T-Shirts

For sizing info, care and fabric details click here.

Women’s V-Necks

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Tank Tops

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Long Sleeves

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Pullover Hoodies

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Crewneck Sweatshirts

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Zip Hoodies

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Raglans

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Specs

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
9m 54.662s

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 90% second woot
  • 10% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 3% joined today
  • 0% one week old
  • 1% one month old
  • 5% one year old
  • 91% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 90% bought 1
  • 9% bought 2
  • 1% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

3%
2%
3%
2%
1%
4%
5%
3%
8%
11%
6%
2%
6%
3%
6%
7%
4%
4%
6%
2%
3%
7%
3%
2%
12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

4%
4%
4%
9%
3%
71%
5%
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

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My Opening Act by acraigl
$19.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$19.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.