3rd place in Derby #212: Back to School, with 540 votes!
Yeah, sure, they call me the “Future Maker” but I don’t let it go to my head or nothing. Don’t get me wrong, I’m proud. I mean, who wouldn’t be? I taught friggin’ Batman for crying out loud. And you know what he called himself when he came to my classroom? Pointy-Headed Guy. I said, “Pointy, c’mon! You gotta go with something better than that. If I’m honest, those pokey things kinda make you look like a flying mammal.” And oh God, the lightning bugs, they were the same way. “Blinky Flys” at first. I kid you not! I says to em, “Fellas! You gotta rebrand yourself! Get fierce! Come up with something that strikes excitement into the hearts of everyone you see!” That was all it took to get them going with the lightning thing.
The more I think about it, the more I realize I was more of a life coach than a night school teacher. My best lessons were about social skills, not some academic mumbo jumbo. For example, when the moon first came to me, he was so full of himself, so I taught him a little bit about humility. The star was the total opposite, just called herself “heat-providing solar body” before I helped her build her self-confidence up a bit. The moth had some love life issues. He was attracted to a light bulb but too nervous to approach, so I gave him some romance tips. The raccoon lacked ambition; he thought he could just stand around and wait for jobs to open up in the trash dispersal industry until I gave him my lecture about taking initiative.
But Aurora, she was one of the brightest students I ever had the honor to teach. I knew right away that she would be the one to really make something of herself. And boy, was I right. These days, I don’t see her much. She’s doing some work that’s so important, I’m not even allowed to know about it. But sometimes, when I’m visiting up North, she’ll come out at night to see me.
Wear this shirt: if you believe they put a man on the moon, man on the moon.
Don’t wear this shirt: on a dark (k)night.
This shirt tells the world: “I’ll give you owl my knowledge if you’ll just listen.”
We call this color: Navy, I think. Could someone please turn the lights on see the color, please? Hello?? C’mon quit joking around guys, you know I’m afraid of the dark… Guys????
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