Not Fast, Not Furious
by DinoMike
- Standard - Estimated delivery Dec 16 - Dec 17
- Express - Estimated delivery Dec 13
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But I wouldn't really know because I'm always rushing around, late and angry. Why? Because of Ernie. He's the stupid neanderthal who lives in the flat underneath me who thinks it's a brilliant idea to hold late-night jam sessions with his erstwhile accourdian troupe - yes, I said his #$%&@ ACCORDIAN TROUPE - until 2 am when they invariably decide to fry up some fish & chips - instead of going down the street to Lenny's which is OPEN ALL NIGHT LONG and just ordering it like any other RATIONAL human - and then, because they're all hammered from drowning out their terrible accordian screeching with one-to-many pints, they BURN the fish (EVERY #%&@ TIME) and set off the fire alarms which then ring incessantly for the 25 minutes it takes poor Ms. Hinkleman our very old and very widowed landlady to find her glasses and torch and make her way to the basement and remember which breaker shuts off the alarms. I'm sorry. I think I just need a nap. Maybe I'll just sit here in the quiet and look at that nice happy sloth resting on his branch and try not to think of all the terrible places I'd like to shove Ernie's stupid accordian.
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