The Crime Fits The Profile
2nd place in Derby #53: Double-Take Derby #2, with 646 votes!
Okay, first of all, you don’t just rob a museum on your first try, so this guy has got to have some experience. Secondly, his balance is so flawless that he’s got to have substantial training in either martial arts or ballet. Third, he’s holding something like five hundred pounds in one hand, and that’s five hundred shifting pounds, not balanced like a weightlifter. And fourth, he’s got a place where he can quickly sell priceless one of a kind artifacts, which means major black market contacts all around the globe.
We just need to accept that, in the current political climate, anyone this highly trained is working for at least one government, if not two or three. Why would someone making that much money want to rob museums? For the thrill, or the practice. Either way, the most that we can hope for is the safe recovery of the items. A man like that will never serve a day in jail.
This shirt was designed by: dsladek, creator of yesterday’s Energy Harvester shirt. If you missed it, don’t be a sad rat, click that link!
Wear this shirt: if your service is not affiliated with woot.com. And honestly, you can still buy it even if your service is affiliated with woot.com. But can you maybe pay cash? We’ve got this little tax problem just now…
Don’t wear this shirt: to a tax audit. It sort of sets the wrong tone. Also this probably isn’t a good gift for a Franciscan monk.
This shirt tells the world: “Keep on with the force don’t stop, don’t stop ‘til you get enough”
We call this color: Hush, Little Baby Blue, Don’t Say A Word/Daddy’s Gonna Swipe You A Mockingbird/And If That Mockingbird Don’t Sing/Daddy’s Gonna Swipe You Some Aztec Thing/And If That Aztec Thing Is Cursed/Daddy’s Gonna Swipe You A Medieval Purse/And If The Purse Turns Out To Be Pre-Cambrian/Daddy’s Gonna Swipe You A Bust Of Justinian/And If That’s Not The Emperor You Like/Daddy’s Gonna Steal You A Penny Farthing Bike/And If Some White Sphere Stakes A Claim/Daddy’s Gonna Have A Number For A Name.
Back to top