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Secret of the Sharpener

by bennydougs

$19.00 + free shipping
Baby Blue
Tee
Limit 15 per customer
  • Standard - Estimated delivery Jul 28 - Jul 30
  • Express - Estimated delivery Jul 27
  • Free Express shipping for Prime members

The Dixon Ticonderoga Chainsaw Massacre

2nd place in Derby #140: Things That Start With the Letter S, with 800 votes!

I loved being a lumberjack, but I hate the outdoors. So this pencil-sharpener gig is like the best of both worlds for me. I still get to do a lot of chainsawing. I still get to wear the hat and the shirt and the suspenders. But I get to do it all in a cramped room, knee-deep in sawdust, under a sickly yellow lightbulb. Paradise. You got anything you need sharpened? Please?

Wear this shirt: when you hang around in bars. Just be sure to order a women’s size.

Don’t wear this shirt: if you’re afraid of lead poisoning. Because if you’re an adult and you still think pencil “lead” can give you lead poisoning, we’d rather not have you wearing our shirts.

This shirt tells the world: “I’d rather be one of the tiny actors inside the TV, but it’s a living.”

We call this color: Something About Baby Blue And Pencils, Or Maybe Chainsaws, Whatever, It’s Quitting Time And I’ve Been Writing These Cutesy Puns All Day

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Features

Our graphic tees are made for all those days (see every day) that you need to get shirt done! Our professionally printed t-shirts are produced in-house to create an experience you will never forget.

Seriously, our t-shirts have been a graphic tee loving enthusiast's favorite since 2007. Our t-shirt designs are created by the best artists in the industry. We know that the combination of our t-shirts, exclusive design selection, world-class artists, and quality production, makes people smile.

Sizing Chart:

Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Classic T-Shirt Fit:

This shirt is made for those of you that like a looser fitting shirt (classic seemed appropriate)! This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look Woot-astic!

  • Standard fit (slightly boxy t-shirt, a little loose)
  • Fiber Content: 4.5 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: Honduras
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Fitted T-Shirt Fit:

Our fitted t-shirts are made for those times when you want to feel slimmer — or when you want to go out on the town — or just because you like fitted shirts 'cause you're slim and stuff. This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look fit-astic (get it?)!

  • Fitted T-Shirt fit (narrower shoulder and body)
  • Fiber Content: 4.2 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: USA, Central America, Vietnam or Bangladesh
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Specs

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
0m 17.000s
First Sucker:
Fritooo
Last Wooter to Woot:
giuseppepatch

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 96% second woot
  • 4% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 8% joined today
  • 2% one week old
  • 4% one month old
  • 33% one year old
  • 54% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 96% bought 1
  • 4% bought 2
  • 0% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

12%
5%
3%
2%
1%
1%
2%
4%
4%
5%
5%
5%
5%
5%
4%
4%
3%
4%
4%
4%
5%
5%
4%
4%
12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

3%
2%
2%
1%
2%
2%
89%
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

Woots by State

zero wooters wootinglots of wooters wooting

Top Comments

What are Top Comments?

Top Comments are discussion forum posts we have deemed worthy of your time. Listen, we get a lot of comments, and most of the time, it's pretty forgettable stuff; but sometimes you rise to the top like butterfat in milk. We don't recommend you base your self-worth on how often we feature your comments, but we don't expressly forbid it either.

join the discussion (72 comments)
join the discussion (72 comments)

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Secret of the Sharpener by bennydougs
$19.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$19.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.