What’s Cooler Than Bein’ Cool?
3rd place in Derby #230: Winter Redux, with 871 votes!
You have four new messages. First message…
Winnie, it’s Jack. Look, don’t be like this, all right? I know I goofed up. We had a date the other night by the old tree, and I, uh, just got busy, that’s all. You know what this time of year is like for me! Come on, girl, can’t we talk about this? We’re both anthropomorphic personifications here. Just call me back when you get this.
Are you serious? You are still not picking up? That’s cold, Winnie, even for you. You know what you’re problem is? You don’t believe the things I tell you! You always think I’m trying to be slick. Well, fine. Be that way. If you want to talk, you know how to get a hold of me.
I know what this is about. Somebody told you they saw me with the Sugarplum Fairy the night of our date, didn’t they? Good. I’m glad. ‘Cause you know what, Winnie? I need trust in a relationship and you don’t trust me! Okay, I just realized how dumb that sounds, but it’s still true, girl! And she doesn’t just sit around contemplating the snowfall on a hillside and being boring. She’s a dancer! That’s right! So whatever, Winnie! You don’t have to call me back. You hear that, girl? You can kiss Jack Frost goodbye!
HA HA! I, uh, totally got you! See I knew, uh, somehow that you didn’t have your phone with you tonight. Yeah, and I knew WAY before I ran into you just now, which makes the stuff I said in all those previous messages even funnier. Heh. So, uh, just forget I even left them! Unless you think they’re funny, too, then we can just laugh about it later. Together! Yeah.
Wear this shirt: as you wait for the days to get longer.
Don’t wear this shirt: and go outside without a coat on! You’ll end up sick as a dog!
This shirt tells the world: “Baby, it’s cold outside.”
We call this color: Navy Next Year
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