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Theory of the Robot Voice

by ndikol

$19.00 + free shipping
Slate
Tee
Limit 15 per customer
  • Standard - Estimated delivery Apr 3 - Apr 5
  • Express - Estimated delivery Mar 31 - Apr 2
  • Standard International - Estimated delivery Apr 8 - Apr 10
  • Free Express shipping for Prime members

Fan Speaking Basics

Man-to-fan interactions may seem simple, but there is actually quite a bit to take into consideration. For example…

When speaking into a fan, your voice will come out the other end sounding much like a robot. Because of this you are required to a) speak about topics that are particularly robotic for maximum believability, or b) speak about topics that are particularly human for maximum irony.

When speaking as a fan, make sure to expel 97% more air then usual and speak in a constant monotone voice. This will make it easier for the person you are speaking with to shut his or her eyes and imagine you as a fan.

When speaking with a fan, always take into to consideration cultural differences. Something that may seem universally unpleasant to you, may, to a fan, be a great source of happiness or pride. Starting the conversation by discussing something like how spinning makes you nauseous or how you hate when it’s windy outside is a surefire way to get off on the wrong foot.

When speaking down to a fan, make sure to call it a whirly-gigger-majigger or a brainless-air-thruster. Fans hate being called that!

Wear this shirt: to protest against blade-less fans.

Don’t wear this shirt: into the past; there’s a lot to explain before they’ll even have enough information to MAYBE get the joke.

This shirt tells the world: “LalalaLuuukkkee… Luuuuuukkkkeeee. I am your faaaaatherrrrrr.”

We call this color: slate noise; like white noise but tougher.

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Features

Our graphic tees are made for every day that you need to get shirt done! Seriously, our t-shirts have been a graphic tee loving enthusiast's favorite since 2007. Our shirts are printed in the USA and every time you buy a shirt, one of our talented artists gets paid!

T-Shirts

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Women’s V-Necks

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Tank Tops

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Long Sleeves

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Pullover Hoodies

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Crewneck Sweatshirts

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Zip Hoodies

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Raglans

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Specs

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
2m 42.000s

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 96% second woot
  • 4% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 4% joined today
  • 1% one week old
  • 4% one month old
  • 27% one year old
  • 63% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 96% bought 1
  • 3% bought 2
  • 1% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

10%
5%
1%
1%
1%
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2%
4%
6%
7%
7%
7%
5%
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6%
3%
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3%
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12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

85%
6%
3%
1%
2%
1%
3%
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

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Theory of the Robot Voice by ndikol
$19.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$19.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.