Woot! - One Day, One Deal

Reckoning Reminder 2/10/2012

Fri, 10 Feb 2012 12:33:00 -0600

Friday's here, so screw it. We're going home! You guys can handle the Reckoning thing, right? You just count up the sales, plug 'em into our intentionally-overly-complex algorithm processor, and it spits out new Reckoning standings. More sales = higher standing, so be sure to let people know they should stop by the Reckoning page and buy their favorites if they want to help keep them around for another week. Have a good weekend!

Family Portrait - $12.00

Fri, 10 Feb 2012 00:00:09 -0600

Smile for the camera

1st place in Derby #237: Fish Out of Water, with 932 votes!

Okay, no funny faces, guys. Yes, I’m talking to you, Mars. I know you like being the center of attention and everything, but this isn’t all about you today. This is about family.

Speaking of which, I don’t mean to make you feel awkward, but Pluto, could you step out of the frame? Thanks.

Okay, Jupiter, you need to move to the back. You’re blocking your brothers and sisters. And Saturn, please show some modesty and pull up your ring a little bit, okay? I mean, we’re going to show this to your grandmother after all. Uranus, that’s gross. C’mon. Turn around and pull your pants up, RIGHT NOW. And Neptune, stop laughing! It only encourages him!

Pluto. Please step out of the frame. I don’t want to have to ask you again…

VENUS! GET DOWN HERE! IT SHOULDN’T TAKE 40 FRIGGIN MINUTES TO PUT ON MAKEUP FOR A FAMILY PHOTO! HURRY UP! YOUR LITTLE BROTHER MERCURY IS ABOUT TO HAVE ONE OF HIS MOOD SWINGS AGAIN! Ah, there you are, dear. Looking beautiful as always!

Alright, now everyone stand still. I said still, Earth! Oh really, you’re covered with life? And it’s constantly in motion? I had no idea. It’s not like you talk about it EVERY SINGLE DAY! But seriously, don’t you have the Downton Abbey season finale or something you could throw on to distract people for a minute? Thanks!

Alright, now everyone say cheese on three. One, Two… Oh guys, stop! You don’t want me in the picture! Really? You do? Oh, that is just too sweet! I guess I could set a timer… or, wait! Pluto, you’re not doing anything…

Wear this shirt: to show coach that you belong in the rotation!

Don’t wear this shirt: to the planetarium. They have no sense of humor about this sort of thing.

This shirt tells the world: “I may be mercurial, but I always manage to pull myself together.”

We call this color: Navy IN SSSSSPPPPPAAAACCCCCEEEEE

Design Placement: Centered

Design Size:
3X – S: 12” x 9.66”
WXL - K4: 9” x 7.25”

Pantone Color(s): White - Process Yellow C - 1235C - 717C - 5483C - 429C

Please check our sizing chart before you order. The Woot Tee follows a classic closer-fitting style. If you prefer a baggier look, order a larger size. If there is not a larger size, consider starting a belly-hanging-out trend.

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Price: $12.00

I want one!

Derby #238: Kitties!

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 12:00:01 -0600

We're not new to this Internet thing, which is why we know if you want to make it big you're gonna need cats. Cats wanting burgers, cats in the ceiling, cats stretched out, cats riding invisible bikes, pretty much anything with a feline is guaranteed to get you some traffic. So this week give us your best kitty-inspired designs in all their adorable glory. One week only, it's cats! Cats! Cats! Just be sure to do it within these rules:

No text.
No cheezburgers.

Introducing Your Contenders for Derby #237: Fish Out of Water

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 12:00:01 -0600

Derby #237: Fish Out of Water closed for voting at noon today. Three of these designs will go on sale one at a time over the next three days - the rest will go down in near-miss history. Click on each picture below to see that entry's page, with a fuller view of the design. The final nine, in no particular order...

uniCONE by walmazan

They're too Short by Radscoolian

Blending In by ramyb

Ew and it eats snakes? by ramyb

Sushi Friends by ApeLad

Family Portrait by wirdou

Going to a Cheesier Place by patrickspens

Call Me Old Fashioned... by sundbe10

Not Like The Other... by firefrogh

Come back tonight at midnight to see (and, of course, buy) our first-place winner. Then do the same thing Saturday and Sunday morning. Please? Thanks for Derbying!

Sissy Sea Fight

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 00:00:02 -0600

Splish Splash Smash

UFC fighting? That’s nothing. You gotta check out “Tidal Tumble.”

So there’s no ring, okay? There are just these giant sprawling underwater arenas called “oceans.” And there are no people, just creatures who lie at various points along the real-to-mythical spectrum. There are boats too, but no one cares about the boats. Except maybe if one sea creature throws a boat at another sea creature. Then everyone cares about the boats, especially the people on the boats.

Who usually wins? That’s the exciting part: no one! It’s a lose for everyone! Maybe Godzilla beats Poseidon one day, or Nessie pummels a whale. Well think about it: what do they have left to live for then? They’re creatures built for inter-ocean combat. Eliminating their enemies means that they’ve essentially eliminated their chief means of pleasure and purpose. They will not live a life of triumph. They will wander aimlessly, with nothing but an empty heart, and a full stomach. Full of boats that is.

Basically, what I’m saying is the boats lose worst of all.

Wear this shirt: to your class on Chaos Theory.

Don’t wear this shirt: scuba diving. Your diving mates will be very disappointed at how boring the real ocean is by contrast.

This shirt tells the world: “This shirt’s not big enough for the six of us. Seriously. It’s not. Read the sizing chart.”

We call this color: Navy, or as I like to call it, our man in the fight for control of the sea.

Design Placement: Centered

Design Size:
3X – S: 13.09” x 19”
WXL - WS: 9.81” x 14.25”
K12 - K4: 8.61” x 12.5”

Pantone Color(s): 332C - 3242C - 290C - 7459C - 534C

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Robo Hobo

Wed, 08 Feb 2012 00:00:24 -0600

Hey, kid. You look new. Lemme give you a few pointers.

Yeah, I’ve been ridin’ the rails since I was installed on the rails.

Listen, kid. You might think you’re one tough robot now, all alone against the world, but I’ve been around the block long enough to know you ain’t gonna make it long without a little kindness from your fellow bots. I don’t just mean handouts, neither. I’m talkin’ about the code.

The Robo Hobo Code! No one told you about the code? Aw, cripes, kid. You’re worse off than I thought. Listen, when you make your way from town to town you gotta notice the little things. Every robo hobo keeps a small laser engraver installed to be able to notch out a binary barcode on a fence post or a trash can or somewhere inconspicuous to let the others know what’s what. You don’t want to just stumble into some trouble, so we all use these codes as a way to help each other out.

For instance, if you see 01100001 00100000 01110000 01101001 01100011 01110100 01110101 01110010 01100101 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01100001 00100000 01100011 01100001 01110100, that means there’s a nice woman living at that place. So you can probably play on her sympathies and get a hot meal out of her, maybe some 10W30 or some synthetic diagnostic repair strips. And if you see 01100001 00100000 01110010 01110101 01100100 01101001 01101101 01100101 01101110 01110100 01100001 01110010 01111001 00100000 01110100 01101111 01110000 01101000 01100001 01110100, that means the same thing except it’s a malebot living there, so you’ll want to impress him with how you’re looking for work, got a family to feed, that sort of thing.

Take note if you notice someone’s engraved 01100001 00100000 01100011 01110010 01101111 01110011 01110011 00100000 01110111 01101001 01110100 01101000 00100000 01100001 00100000 01100011 01101001 01110010 01100011 01101100 01100101 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01110010 01100101 01100101 00100000 01100100 01101111 01110100 01110011 anywhere. That means there’s a mechanic nearby who will patch ya up for free. But if you see 01100001 00100000011000110110100101110010011000110110110001100101, move on. It means there’s nothin’ around worth checkin’ out. No, what you’re really lookin’ for is 01100001 00100000 01100011 01101001 01110010 01100011 01101100 01100101 00100000 01110111 01101001 01110100 01101000 00100000 01100001 01101110 00100000 01111000 00100000 01101001 01101110 00100000 01101001 01110100. That’s the signal that there’s somethin’ to be had.

Be careful if you see 01100001 01101110 00100000 01100001 01110010 01100011 01101000 00100000 01110111 01101001 01110100 01101000 00100000 01100001 00100000 01100100 01101111 01110100 00100000 01101001 01101110 00100000 01101001 01110100 anywhere, though. That means the robo-cops are out and lookin’ for types like us. See? It pays to know the signals, kid. And it’s robo-hobo etiquette to engrave them yourself for the next fella passin’ through as well. We maybe rejects of society, but we gotta stick together.

Wear this shirt: While petitioning to bring back that show BattleBots. Remember that show? That was kinda neat.

Don’t wear this shirt: If you could afford to donate it to the Robo-Goodwill.

This shirt tells the world: “I’m a leaking-engine robo-socialist.”

We call this color: From the rough silver of the tracks.

Design Placement: Centered

Design Size:
3X – S: 10” x 14.36”
WXL - K4: 7.5” x 10.77”

Pantone Color(s): – Black – White

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I like you, but…

Tue, 07 Feb 2012 00:00:15 -0600

Just let it happen

Let’s just get over it, okay? Facebook controls our lives, and that’s just the way it is.

Let’s just stop pretending shall we? Let’s give up this ruse that we can just give up Facebook anytime, okay? It’s part of us now. A guiding part of us.

It’s where we go to announce our accomplishments. Or to cry about how much fun all of our friends are having because they haven’t graduated college yet. Or to rant about politics that we don’t understand. Or to track each and every stage of our pregnancies, sometimes with unnecessarily graphic details and photos.

We can not only watch movies on it, as in movies someone has posted to Facebook; we can also watch movies on it, as in movies about Facebook.

It’s even where we go when we need an easy and convenient way to communicate, to all of our friends at once, just how stupid and useless Facebook is. See, even its detractors can’t stay away. That’s how you build a business with a projected $5 billion dollar IPO: by making it so that the haters who gonna hate end up using your thing to hate on your thing.

So c’mon, it’s time to buy a shirt about it, a shirt that takes an old phrase and Facebook-ized it. Seriously, we’ve already Facebook-ized everything else in our lives, so why not our apparel?

Wear this shirt: to a networking event.

Don’t wear this shirt: when you’re visiting your grandma. You’ll be lucky if you get to the part where you say, “And then, so, when people post stuff, there’s this button you can click” before you lose her.

This shirt tells the world: “Just because we’re addicted doesn’t mean we can’t POKE fun! GET IT??!”

We call this color: Royal Blue, or, as it’ll be known in the future, Zukerbergian Blue.

Design Placement: Centered

Design Size:
3X – S: 9.5” x 5.83”
WXL - K4: 7.12” x 4.37”

Pantone Color(s): White - 545C - 290C

Discuss this product

Reckoning Recon 2/7/2012

Tue, 07 Feb 2012 00:00:00 -0600

Tuesdays are for taking a breath and taking it all in. The Reckoning happened yesterday; seven shirts were cast off forever and now we're left to pick through the pieces and figure out where the next seven will fit. Here are your Reckoning standings as of when I copied and pasted this:

Shhhhhhh
Lifetime Achievement Award
Family Breakfast
Hold Still Guys!
Motivation
We're more than famous!
Playing Koi (noob)
The Binge
Unstealthiest Ninja II: The Unstealthening
It Came Out Of Nowhere
They See Me Rollin'
Unstealthiest Ninja
The Birthplace of Inspiration
Nevermore
Run Away! Run Away!
Makin' Bread
Code of Arms
Schrödinger’s Equation
Acquired Taste
Vampires!

The Danger Zone

Elements of Life (noob)
Winners at Life
District 14 (noob)
Blossom (noob)
Love Conquers All (noob)
Sheep in Wolf's Clothing (noob)

Derby #236 (Watercolors): Honorable Mentions

Mon, 06 Feb 2012 13:05:00 -0600

We came to the Shirt.Woot faithful with our hats in our hands and our hearts on our sleeves and begged: please let's do something besides turtles and penguins and bunnies. We even went so far as to suggest one of our more artistic themes in recent memory, a Derby inspired by watercolors! The results were awesome. Really. One of the best Derbies ever. Sadly not everyone got to win and get printed, but here are a few we would love to give a second chance:

Majesty

by anemality

Insert tawdry Katy Perry song lyric here.

Out of the Blue

by Radscoolian

Hi, my name's Mike and I'm a Testors Modeling Glue-aholic.

Painted Tyger

by radiomode

Pretty sure you can still get these airbrushed at Six Flags.

kiss of death

by kaseyfleming

"Let he who has a clean browsing history cast the first stone!"

Portrait of Night-time

by stardamsel

"Psst. You've got an owl on your neck."

Who goes there

by ApeLad

Some OTHER t-shirt sites might add a sophomoric "How many licks?" tagline to increase sales. Hmm, that might not be a bad idea.

Gone With The Sunset

by expo01

This is like a t-shirt Rorschach test. If you see a beautiful sunset, you're well adjusted. If you see a horrific explosion and plumes of toxic smoke curling into a blood-red sky, you're me.

Fish Out Of Water

by captainfantastic

Finally, somethin' fancy for Captain D's night!

Bird Lover

by walmazan

Oh, it's because the cat loves them so much that he kills them and oh god this is starting to hit close to home.

Fade away

by xiaobaosg

A million mouth-breathing, overweight American dudes in their basements just sighed with longing.

Crow Jane

by kdeuce

Nothing makes someone question your personality quirks like an affinity for scavengers.

Mariposa

by kdeuce

This would look GREAT on your lower back.

Castle on a Cloud

by werewolfskippy

It didn't really have to stop. It just kept on going.

That's it for this week! We'll keep these at the top of the list for our next Double-Take Derby, but until then be sure to pop by this week's Derby and see what designs are cookin'!

Day Reckoning the Two Hundred and Thirty Fourth

Mon, 06 Feb 2012 12:40:00 -0600

Did you have a nice Super Bowl Sunday? Eat your weight in dip? Discover new limits on the human body's endurance for prolonged flatulance? Maybe you overindulged so much your shirts are feeling a little tighter today. Worry not! You can pick up a new one at our Reckoning page, and if you're into looking unique, we recommend you pick up one of these seven. After midnight tonight, they'll be gone forever:

Meatatarian
Deep Sea Reader
A Wild Night
Mister Poe's Guilt Trip (noob)
Epic Hairball (noob)
Theory of the Robot Voice (noob)
Housewarming Gifts (noob)