Woot! - One Day, One Deal

Reckoning Reminder 2/3/2011

Fri, 03 Feb 2012 13:03:00 -0600

It's Friday, and that means it's time to get your Reckoning on! All our shirts are still up for grabs, but come Monday at noon the bottom seven sellers will be locked and loaded for quick disposal. You can change all that, of course, by buying the shirts you like and helping bump them up in the standings. Or you can stand idly by and watch the chaos unfold. Choice is yours, we guess.

Playing Koi - $12.00

Fri, 03 Feb 2012 00:00:13 -0600

Go Fish

1st place in Derby #236: Watercolors, with 1076 votes!

Good news, everyone! Now you can try out wearing koi fish on your body before getting them permanently inked into your tender flesh!

It happens to everyone. You want a tattoo because all the cool kids have them, but you don’t really know what to get. And then you think, “Hey, Koi fish tattoos are popular. That barista with the ring in her nose down at the coffee shop has one, anyway. I should get one of those.” And then you do a little research on the Internet and find that Koi swimming upstream sorta-kinda represents overcoming great adversity, which immediately reminds you of the time your Xbox got the Red Ring of Death. Oh yeah, dude. You’re getting a Koi Fish.

But before you let some guy in a rockabilly shirt carve up your bicep with his needles, maybe you oughta think about trying on the Koi for size with this t-shirt. Wear around, show it off, and see if the barista smiles when you tell her how hard it was not being able to play Call of Duty for the three days it took you to buy a new video game console. If it works out, fantastic! And if you don’t like it, at least you can take the shirt off, you know?

Wear this shirt: when you want to inspire your pet goldfish.

Don’t wear this shirt: as you attempt to liberate the fish swimming in the local Asian buffet’s fountain. You’ll look suspicious.

This shirt tells the world: “Just keep swimming.”

We call this color: This Is A T-Shirt/It Has A White Coloring/The Jealous Crane Dies

Design Placement: Right Side

Design Size:
3X – S: 12.2” x 19”
WXL - WS: 9.15” x 14.25”
K12 - K4: 7.7” x 12”

Pantone Color(s): 458C - 107C - 172C - 7473C - 7501C - Pantone Black 3C

Please check our sizing chart before you order. The Woot Tee follows a classic closer-fitting style. If you prefer a baggier look, order a larger size. If there is not a larger size, consider starting a belly-hanging-out trend.

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Price: $12.00

I want one!

Derby #237: Fish Out of Water

Thu, 02 Feb 2012 12:00:03 -0600

We're all denizens of the Internet, so we're certainly no strangers to awkward moments. Everyone's had that moment where you can't help but feel like you're the one thing that's not like the others. So let's open that old wound and revisit some of the most awkward times of our lives! Of course it doesn't HAVE to be so awkward; you can also give us your comedic interpretations of animals, people, or things in spots where they just don't fit in. Of course you still have to fit in with our rules:

No Star Wars or Nintendo.
No text.

Introducing Your Contenders for Derby #236: Watercolors

Thu, 02 Feb 2012 12:00:03 -0600

Derby #236: Watercolors closed for voting at noon today. Three of these designs will go on sale one at a time over the next three days - the rest will go down in near-miss history. Click on each picture below to see that entry's page, with a fuller view of the design. The final nine, in no particular order...

Castle on a Cloud by werewolfskippy

Mariposa by kdeuce

Crow Jane by kdeuce

Bird Lover by walmazan

Blossom by ramyb

Playing Koi by patrickspens

Painted Tyger by radiomode

Elements of Life by omarfeliciano

Coming alive (2.0) by ramyb

Come back tonight at midnight to see (and, of course, buy) our first-place winner. Then do the same thing Saturday and Sunday morning. Please? Thanks for Derbying!

District 14

Thu, 02 Feb 2012 00:00:12 -0600

Well, It’s No “Battle Royale” But

Yeah, there are plenty of great places to eat, but District 14 was just so much better before it gentrified.

I was here back in the day, you know, right BEFORE the war started. Yeah, there was nothing here then but the scene. And it wasn’t lame, back then it wasn’t all corporate like it is now. We used to hang out at this little candy store and the tributes were soda pop and chocolate bars. And we didn’t get weapons and instruction, we did it street-style. And if some other district came around, we sent ‘em packing.

And now? Now I see these kids with their subplots about love and drama. I mean, where’s the authenticity? Not to mention nobody’s actually hungry any more. I walk to the candy store and I pass about twenty pizza places and that taco truck right by where they’re building the shopping mall. Yeah, the freaking shopping mall. I mean, don’t get me wrong, the tacos are great for sure, but it used to be about the GAMES. Now it’s just about getting your face on the television. You ask me, these kids haven’t ever been hungry in their lives.

Wear this shirt: under your Twilight hoodie. It’ll segue very well.

Don’t wear this shirt: when going to see District 9 at your local movie theater’s taco night. It’ll confuse everybody.

This shirt tells the world: “Anyone feel like grabbing dinner first?”

We call this color: Post-Apocalyptic Broken Asphalt All Over The Place

Design Placement: Centered

Design Size:
3X – S: 11” x 13.05”
WXL - K4: 8.25” x 9.79”

Pantone Color(s): 429C

Discuss this product

Sheep in Wolf’s Clothing

Wed, 01 Feb 2012 00:00:23 -0600

The Old Switchera-ha-ooooo

Why would you, a sheep, want to dress like a wolf? We can think of a few reasons…

1. The rest of your herd won’t let you have any alone time. They just crowd around, always BAA BAA BAA, until you feel like if you don’t get a minute to collect your thoughts you just might lose it. I mean, seriously lose it. Do you have any idea what life is like for a sensitive, introverted sheep?

2. The best way to understand your enemy is to become your enemy.

3. You’ve given up on life and decided to commit “suicide by wolf”. But something – shepherds, sheepdogs, other sheep – always seems to get in the way before you can even get close to one.

4. You want to make a big splash at the herd’s Halloween Party.

5. You realize sheep don’t celebrate Halloween, and it’s time somebody changed that.

6. We guess maybe you could be into some kind of weird erotic roleplay kind of thing, but we’re not getting anywhere near that one. Sicko.

7. To strike fear into the superstitious, cowardly sheep who prey on their own kind. You may not be the hero this pasture needs. But you are the hero it deserves.

8. Your leadership of the herd depends on maintaining a climate of fear and paranoia, and there aren’t enough actual wolves roaming around these days.

9. You’ve always felt like a wolf trapped in sheep’s clothing.

Wear this shirt: under your fleece pullover. Or over your fleece pullunder.

Don’t wear this shirt: with two of your friends under a full moon. That meme is pretty played out.

This shirt tells the world: “Who’s afraid of the big baaaa- dammit, that’s always the part that gives me away.”

We call this color: The Boy Who Cried Silver.

Design Placement: Centered

Design Size:
3X – S: 11” x 15.79”
WXL - K4: 8.25” x 11.84”

Pantone Color(s): Warm Grey 1C - Warm Grey 2C - Warm Grey 5C - Pantone Black 4C

Discuss this product

Reckoning Recon 1/31/2011

Tue, 31 Jan 2012 12:12:00 -0600

Poor little Housewarming Gifts. Where did it go astray? You guys gave it the cold shoulder in a big way that left us scratching our heads; we figured it was a solid tee. Will it have time to claw its way out of the cellar and into the Top 20? That's up to you and whether or not you buy one. Here are your Reckoning standings as of when I copied and pasted this:

Shhhhhhh
Motivation
Family Breakfast
Hold Still Guys!
We're more than famous! (noob)
Unstealthiest Ninja II: The Unstealthening
The Birthplace of Inspiration
Vampires!
Lifetime Achievement Award (noob)
The Binge
They See Me Rollin'
Makin' Bread
Acquired Taste
Schrödinger’s Equation
Unstealthiest Ninja
It Came Out Of Nowhere
Nevermore
Meatatarian
Run Away! Run Away!
Code of Arms

The Danger Zone

A Wild Night
Deep Sea Reader
Mister Poe's Guilt Trip (noob)
Epic Hairball (noob)
Theory of the Robot Voice (noob)
Housewarming Gifts (noob)

“Keep It Real”

Tue, 31 Jan 2012 00:00:15 -0600

Many Miles Away, Something Crawls To The Surface

Hey, George! The microchip embedded in my brain told me you might stop by!

Come on in and make yourself comfortable anywhere within a salt circle. You don’t want to get possessed, of course. Sorry about all the garlic and silver everywhere but, as you can see, I’ve been replacing all the aluminum foil lining the walls with actual TIN foil and haven’t been able to clean up since Halloween. Speaking of foil, would you mind putting this hat on? Thanks, friend.

So what brings you by? The government? Aliens? Rogue lizard people who have been living in a secret world below ground, waiting for their chance to strike? Oh, you bought a shirt that reminded you of me and you wanted to bring it by, is that it? Well let’s have a look at it. Ha! Yeah, I guess I can see why you thought I might like it. Take a look at this, Fro’Mok. I’ve introduced you to Fro’Mok before, right, George? My friend from Dimension 72 that no one can see but me? I thought so.

Look, I really hate to rush you out the door, but I’ve got a lot to do before the Grays come by for my nightly abduction. They’re exploring my gastro-intestinal system tonight and I should really shower beforehand. It’s the polite thing to do. But we should totally get together on the astral plane sometime. Say hello to “them” for me, whoever “they” are!

Wear this shirt: if you feel reality is overrated.

Don’t wear this shirt: to bed where the aliens who give you a good probing every night can see.

This shirt tells the world: “It’s not that I don’t know that stuff isn’t real, it’s just that I refuse to accept it.”

We call this color: Blacking Out Reality

Design Placement: Centered

Design Size:
3X – S: 10” x 10.42”
WXL - K4: 7.5” x 7.82”

Pantone Color(s): White - 566C - 7537C - 447C

Discuss this product

Derby #235 (Dubious Honors): Honorable Mentions

Mon, 30 Jan 2012 13:06:00 -0600

We asked you guys to give us the honors you'd be least honored to receive, and boy did you deliver! I mean, not THESE guys, they didn't win the Derby or anything. But if ever there was a Dubious Honor to be had, it's an Honorable Mention from Shirt.Woot! Now for the HMs:

Average Person Award

by patrickspens

Do you know how HARD it is to place so solidly in the middle of the bell curve?

Staring Contest Champion

by midgerock

Whoever wins, we're all watching it on YouTube.

Tallest Tree For Golden Egg

by FlyingMouse365

Wait, what?

SNOOZE BUTTON CHAMPION

by nathanwpyle

I never understood the snooze button. Just set your alarm later and get MORE uninterrupted sleep, people!

the most disguised panda

by tobefonseca

How 'bout "Least Likely to Breed in Captivity?"

Nacho Champ (Resub)

by Radscoolian

"I do it not for honor or glory. I do it for the love of the game."

the number one most viewed hologram in the galaxy

by ApeLad

"OMG R2 MY DAD'S A SITH LORD IF YOU DON'T TAKE THIS VID DOWN IM GONNA HAX UR PORTS AND HE'LL TOTES FORCE CHOKE YOU!"

The Last Orbiter

by odysseyroc

Awww, this one made us sad.

There you have it! We'll keep these on the podium until they get their next shot at greatness with a Double-Take Derby. Until then, check out the current Derby and honor some designs with your vote!

Day of Reckoning the Two Hundred and Thirty Third

Mon, 30 Jan 2012 12:30:00 -0600

Let's all take a second to tip our hats to January as it makes its way out the door. You kids don't get it yet, but there's seriously a switch that flips around 25 or so that greatly increases the speed at which time proceeds. So while you're all, "Man, I wish it was summer!" the rest of us are deathly afraid of becoming even more lost in the timestream, adrift in a turbulent, whirling dervish of our own decline. Sorry. We missed our therapy appointment last week; it kind of helps balance things. We had our Reckoning today, though, and if you want one of these shirts then BUY 'EM NOW. Today's your last chance for:

Inevitable Betrayal
Using Your Melon
Underwater Forest (noob)
Waiting for the suB (noob)
Carrots (noob)
Detecting A Class 5 Fruit Event Incoming (noob)
"A Farewell To Arms" (noob)