Derby #34: Canada
+14

Good Syrup Comes From Happy Trees

Good Syrup Comes From Happy Trees
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andrewlb


quality posts: 0 Private Messages andrewlb
Re: Good Syrup Comes From Happy Trees


Parody of the Cow commercials, and maple syrup is the best

I'm only human

SailorButterfly


quality posts: 14 Private Messages SailorButterfly
Re: Good Syrup Comes From Happy Trees


The colors almost give it a morbid look...like the tree is sucking blood up from the syrup bottle. Not a complaint, though, I think it's actually kinda cool.

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The "Most Awesome Butterfly-Sailor Hybrid on Woot"

AdderXYU


quality posts: 38 Private Messages AdderXYU
Re: Good Syrup Comes From Happy Trees


Andrew, I'm going to say this now, in hopes that, unlike some people I've commented on when they had slim to nil votes, my critique is understood.

This is really too cluttered. There's a lot going on, and it's not that it's bad, but there's way too much of it. The slogan is too close to the text of the syrup bottle, the scribbles around the tire swing don't really make sense, the styles seem to clash all over, the tree is too boxy... I think you've got some ideas in here, but I think you'll do waaay better with it if you try to distill it down to one basic concept... as it is, there's so much going on that it feels slapped together and not designed. I know it can be hard to give up an idea, but sometimes they need distilling

JadenKale


quality posts: 181 Private Messages JadenKale
AdderXYU wrote:Andrew, I'm going to say this now, in hopes that, unlike some people I've commented on when they had slim to nil votes, my critique is understood.

This is really too cluttered. There's a lot going on, and it's not that it's bad, but there's way too much of it. The slogan is too close to the text of the syrup bottle, the scribbles around the tire swing don't really make sense, the styles seem to clash all over, the tree is too boxy... I think you've got some ideas in here, but I think you'll do waaay better with it if you try to distill it down to one basic concept... as it is, there's so much going on that it feels slapped together and not designed. I know it can be hard to give up an idea, but sometimes they need distilling


The scribbles are his signature... I'm fairly sure. But I agree with Adder, here. I don't care for how close the text is to the bottom of the bottle. Especially seeing it's got text there as well. It's very busy and very boxy. And I would go one further to say that the bottle is a lost cause if you want it printed here, because the color is so close to the background it just won't show up.

andrewlb


quality posts: 0 Private Messages andrewlb
JadenKale wrote:The scribbles are his signature... I'm fairly sure. But I agree with Adder, here. I don't care for how close the text is to the bottom of the bottle. Especially seeing it's got text there as well. It's very busy and very boxy. And I would go one further to say that the bottle is a lost cause if you want it printed here, because the color is so close to the background it just won't show up.


Guys thanks for the critique, I don't mean to sound snobish here so sorry if I do. What I did was took the tree from my other line drawing and made the colors into red and white, admittedly I wish I had just done it with a red tree and white middle or vice-versa, not both. The maple syrup thing was just an idea that I liked, and you are right in the fact that The shirt is:
Cluttered
The shadow doesn't really make sense
And the tree is a little boxy, if you look at my entry in the line drawing derby (Stairway to...) then you can see it there as well, this happened because the tree goes right to the edge of the 16 by 20 and I only noticed when I was done what had happened
All this said, The reason This isn't looking that great is because I did this in only an hour and then left for vacation, I just wanted to get something quick down and practice modding old versions

Your critique tho is helpful and if I get time I will resub this keeping in mind the things you have said. Chances of winning will be slim to none but it will be fun so thank you!

-andrewlb

I'm only human

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