Derby #298: This Means War!
+69

A Valley Once Serene (v2)

A Valley Once Serene (v2)
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oakenspirit


quality posts: 59 Private Messages oakenspirit
Re: A Valley Once Serene (v2)


-Hopefully more wearable version- ***NOW WITH MORE CULTURE!***
("Drawing" Chinese is fun!)
Hope you like it!

Blooki


quality posts: 0 Private Messages Blooki
oakenspirit wrote:-Hopefully more wearable version- ***NOW WITH MORE CULTURE!***
("Drawing" Chinese is fun!)
Hope you like it!


Great design and resubmit.

I assume you were going for "平靜". If that's the case, both characters have mistakes in "drawing".

oakenspirit


quality posts: 59 Private Messages oakenspirit
Blooki wrote:Great design and resubmit.

I assume you were going for "平靜". If that's the case, both characters have mistakes in "drawing".


Thanks for the feedback! I said "drawing" because that was just what I was doing- It's obvious enough that I cannot write in Chinese.

I was actually already annoyed about it and my nitpicky mind redid the writing based on a cleaner image of the ship logo I found (they are all so different!!!)-

I updated the image for the printready- the script looks like this but looking at the example you gave, I am wondering if this is wrong too...

It's important to me to get it right, even though this shirt is not even close to being the winning design.

Is the new one just as wrong?

oakenspirit


quality posts: 59 Private Messages oakenspirit
Re: A Valley Once Serene (v2)


Added this updated pic just so you guys could see what the printready looks like with the corrected text (to calm fears and prove that this shirt is COOL!)

So lose your fears and VOTEVOTEVOTE!

Blooki


quality posts: 0 Private Messages Blooki
oakenspirit wrote:
I updated the image for the printready- the script looks like this but looking at the example you gave, I am wondering if this is wrong too...

It's important to me to get it right, even though this shirt is not even close to being the winning design.

Is the new one just as wrong?


Hello,

Glad you're striving to get this right. Hope you don't find my feedback discouraging. I'm trying to help.

The new one does look worse.

Here are step-by-step instructions on how to write the first character:
1) Make two horizontal strokes.
2) Make one vertical stroke, beginning at the midpoint of the higher stroke and passing through the midpoint of the lower stroke.
3) Make two small diagonal strokes on opposite sides of the vertical stroke, located between the two horizontal strokes and in the direction of the midpoint of the lower stroke.

Your second character is perfect, but it's the simplified version of the word rather than the traditional. You can compare the two here:
http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/%E5%B9%B3%E9%9D%99#Mandarin

It's up to you which you prefer. Personally, if I were going to wear a shirt with Chinese characters, I would find the traditional characters more stylish.

The only difference is the very top part of the right half.

To write just that portion:
1) Make one stroke from right to left slanting slightly downwards.
2) Make three smaller downward strokes underneath the first stroke that mildly converge a tiny bit towards the center.

oakenspirit


quality posts: 59 Private Messages oakenspirit
Blooki wrote:Hello,

Glad you're striving to get this right. Hope you don't find my feedback discouraging. I'm trying to help. /snip


I appreciate your wanting to help. I will see if I feel inclined to do anything further with it if I decide to sub it anywhere else... mayhaps I should just drop the chinese script because obviously I am going to continue to get it wrong...

Here is a pic of what I based it on...
and this

or even this, further simplified...


To put it mildly, I obviously don't know the secrets of the language where perhaps I am butchering it, but I am thinking any issue with mine would also be going on with these designs...

Again, thanks for taking the time to aim me correctly.


EDIT- If this sounded snarky, that wasn't my intention...

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