First place in Derby #122: Family, with 1126 votes!

You don’t know what it’s like, living in two worlds. The ducklings are always wanting to feel my fur and laughing at my big flat tail. The beaver kits call me “No-Teeth” and make cruel jokes about how I hatched from an egg. Baby animals can be so cruel. It takes all my willpower to stop myself from gouging them with my venomous ankle spurs.

But as the only platypus at my school, I have to remember that anything I do is going to be seen as representative of all platypi. It’s a lot of pressure for a kid like me. It’s gotten a little easier lately, though. Now I don’t have to stop dreaming about being President just because of my mixed heritage.

Wear this shirt: if you’re an echidna. Monotreme power!

Don’t wear this shirt: and threaten a male platypus during mating season. He’ll spur you up real bad.

This shirt tells the world: “For decades, Western science was convinced I was a hoax.”

We call this color: I Make My Nest From Leaves And Grass

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