The Ness family just makes it uncomfortable for everyone.

It's not that I don't like going to the town beach. I just feel like some families aren't very mindful. And by "some of the parents" I really just mean the Nesses. They're the worst.

First of all, their son is much too big to be splashing around in his floaties like he's a little boy. But tell that to the Nesses and they'll say, "Oh, we want our son to grow up in an environment of limited judgment. If he doesn't want to live a life that involves learning how to swim, that's his choice to make." And, then, of course, he floats way out, like where he's almost disappearing into the fog and my parental instincts kick in, but what do the Nesses say? "He's free to go where he pleases! Childhood should be a time of exploration, not restriction."

But I guess I shouldn't be surprised. After all, we're talking about people who named their kid "Loch."

Wear this shirt: swimming, or else everyone will see your Margaritaville back tattoo.

Don't wear this shirt: swimming, if you want people to see your Margaritaville back tattoo.

This shirt tells the world: "I'm just floating through life."

We call this color: Scottish Royal Blue

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