All Sails Ahead!

by Patrickspens

$15.00
$18.00 17% off List Price

Printed to order.

Ships in 3-5 business days

Asphalt
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Cruise Of The Doomed

1st place in Derby #240: Take THAT, Ninja!, with 800 votes!

Isn’t this amazing, honey? The two of us chained up here against the mast and afraid for our lives! It all feels so authentic, don’t you think? The captain’s a little too Geoffrey Rush and not enough Johnny Depp for my tastes, but who cares? I didn’t even pay for any Pirate Adventure package! But don’t say anything to the actors, okay? It’s not on us to correct their mistake. Let’s just enjoy it, all right?

Dang it, I just wish I’d had taken a video with my phone when the ship materialized out of thin air on the ocean. Do you think they’ll have a commemorative DVD at the gift shop at the next port? You know, now that I think about it, I think George and his wife might have recorded it. I’ll have to ask him when we see him.

Oh, honey, I’m sure George is fine. He’s probably been in on it the whole time! And when the ghost captain stabbed him in the heart and had his men throw him overboard, that was just special effects, that’s all! I bet he’s below deck right now, feasting away on some pirate-themed buffet along with all those lucky so-and-sos who were “killed” when we were boarded. They probably paid for a cheaper package or something. When you think about it, we’re pretty lucky to be here.

Do you think he’ll make us walk the plank? Oh, maybe he’ll keelhaul us! Gosh, I hope he keelhauls us. The kids are going to FLIP when they hear about this!

Wear this shirt: when you want to loot and plunder the office fridge.

Don’t wear this shirt: if you’re a member of the MPAA or RIAA.

This shirt tells the world: “Avast!” or “Yar!” or something pirate-y like that.

We call this color: Asphalty Sea Dog

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Features

Pantone Colors:
White - 100C - 715C - 180C - 424C - Black

Features:
• Fiber Content: 4.5 oz 100% Combed Ringspun Cotton
• Manufactured In: Honduras/Nicaragua
• Printed In Carrollton, Texas, USA
• These shirts are printed to order. That means most of the time, we'll be printing using DTG technology

Sizing Chart:
Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
0m 28.000s
First Sucker:
maxsalvo
Last Wooter to Woot:
Psyf0x

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 91% second woot
  • 9% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 4% joined today
  • 1% one week old
  • 2% one month old
  • 21% one year old
  • 72% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 91% bought 1
  • 7% bought 2
  • 2% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

11%
5%
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2%
3%
5%
6%
7%
8%
6%
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4%
3%
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3%
3%
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12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

3%
2%
2%
2%
85%
4%
3%
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

Woots by State

zero wooters wootinglots of wooters wooting

Top Comments

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Top Comments are discussion forum posts we have deemed worthy of your time. Listen, we get a lot of comments, and most of the time, it's pretty forgettable stuff; but sometimes you rise to the top like butterfat in milk. We don't recommend you base your self-worth on how often we feature your comments, but we don't expressly forbid it either.

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All Sails Ahead! by Patrickspens
$15.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$15.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.