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Listen, we need to be very, very quiet about this so that word doesn't get out, but remember when laser pointers were really big? SHHHHHH! Don't say that word too loud. It's been years now since movies, lectures, and other public events were infected with the scourge of laser pointers, and if today's 14-year-old boys learn about it, there could be another global pandemic.
Nobody knows where the laser pointers came from. Some scientists believe they started in college classrooms. Others say the laser-pointer-as-cat-toy came first. But whatever the cause, by 1998 you couldn't walk down the street without the threat of sudden laser-induced blindness.
If you have any young children of your own, PLEASE make sure to inoculate them to the diverting effects of the laser pointer. That way, by the time they're teenagers, they will not find it uproariously funny to ruin a concert by shining a laser pointer directly in the frontman's eyes.
Thank you all very much for your attention,
The Center For Annoying Behavior Control
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