1st place in Derby #171 Meat, with 1189 votes!

One, two, three, four, five
Different animals are chopped up and put inside
Of the
Sausage casing that’s made from intestine
It’s not the very best meat but it’s got the blessing
The FDA says it’s safe to eat
And sometimes the rabbi down the street.
It’s called kosher, halal, gourmet or all-beefer
But those cost more and we’re all a little cheaper.
So what can we do? We gotta find the dollar store
Grab cheap franks and just hit the door.
Drop a little boil and it’s all good, bun it.
Just use a lot of condiment.

A little bit of meat comes from the hen
A little bit from that swine in the pen
A little bit of cow so we can say
A little bit of beef on labeling
A little bit fish, well probably not
A little bit of rat we’ve likely got
A little bit of pre-cooking, you’ll see
A little bit of color’s all you need

Dat daaa daaa daaa dat
da dada dada dat daaa daa da dat
Dat daaa daaa daaa dat
da dada dada dat daaa daa da dat
Dat daaa daaa daaa dat
da dada dada dat daaa daa da dat
Red Dye Number 5
Dat daaa daaa daaa dat
da dada dada dat! Dat!

Fluff up the bun
And heat the kraut up right
Shake the mustard around
So the water mixes down
Some beans to the left
Potato salad to the right
A beer or a soda
If the host is real polite
Take a bite once
And take a bite twice
AND IF YOU USE ANY DAMN KETCHUP YOU’RE NOT DOING IT RIGHT

A little bit of meat comes from the hen
A little bit from that swine in the pen
A little bit of cow so we can say
A little bit of beef on labeling
A little bit fish, well probably not
A little bit of rat we’ve likely got
A little bit of pre-cooking, you’ll see
A little bit of color’s all you need

Dat daaa daaa daaa dat
da dada dada dat daaa daa da dat
Dat daaa daaa daaa dat
da dada dada dat daaa daa da dat
DAAAAAAA
Daaaaaaa
DAAAAAAA
Chomp it!
Daaaaaaa
So chomp it!
Daaaaaaa
DAAAAAAA
Red Dye Number 5
Daaaaaaa
Dat! Dat!

A little bit of meat comes from the hen
A little bit from that swine in the pen
A little bit of cow so we can say
A little bit of beef on labeling
A little bit fish, well probably not
A little bit of rat we’ve likely got
A little bit of pre-cooking, you’ll see
A little bit of color’s all you need

Hot dogs
Are too
Delicious though not good for you
You can’t eat one
You just want five
But cheap ones probably will end your life.

Dat daaa daaa daaa dat
da dada dada dat daaa daa da dat
Dat daaa daaa daaa dat
da dada dada dat daaa daa da dat
Dat daaa daaa daaa dat
da dada dada dat daaa daa da dat
Red Dye Number 5
Dat daaa daaa daaa dat
da dada dada dat! Dat!

Wear this shirt: if you’re competitive eating star Joey Chestnut. Seriously, man, if you see this, write in. We’ll give you a free hot dog shirt for next year’s contest.

Don’t wear this shirt: if you’re the guy that had Kobayashi arrested. Not cool, dude. Sure, it was your job and everything but… not cool.

This shirt tells the world: “Our nation is like a hot dog. None of it belonged together in the first place, but somehow, it works.”

We call this color: If Your Hot Dog Is Asphalt Colored You Cooked It Too Long

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