Can You Spell BRAAAINS!

by dsladek


Printed to order

Ships in 1-2 business days.

Limit 15 per customer
  • Standard - Estimated delivery Jul 07 - Jul 12
  • Two-Day - Estimated delivery Jul 05
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It Just Won’t Stay Dead

2nd place in Derby #63: Art as Text, with 745 votes!

Please don’t take this the wrong way. Because we really do think the technique on this shirt is wonderful. Look at those abominations rising from unhallowed ground down there at the bottom, they look fantastic. We couldn’t draw that. If this was a title page from some old E.C. Comic we’d be stuffing it in our back pocket and riding our bikes around so that we could show our friends. It looks great, we’re really pleased about how this shirt turned out. We couldn’t be happier.

But, well, we don’t want to be rude. We know, you guys just really like your zombies. And there’s nothing wrong with that by itself. Zombies are fun. But they keep coming. And keep coming. Yeah, we know, zombies do that, ha ha ha, very cute, but someone has to write zombie jokes each time they appear. And that someone is us. And we’re running out of them.

So, please, consider another monster. Werewolves are underrated, you know. And no one is doing golems these days. Wouldn’t a hard-working golem look just great on a nice orange shirt? We’ve got three paragraphs on a golem we’re just dying to use! Help us out, huh?

This shirt was designed by: a shambling monster that struggles to hide his face from the world that shuns him even as he searches for revenge against the fiend that trapped him within a living death, a carcass desperate for the eternal rest now denied him, a horror that bears no name, but who mankind once knew as… dsladek.

Wear this shirt: to the all you can eat Wednesday night pizza and pasta buffet. Shuffle a bit every time you go back. But don’t shuffle too much. Those roofers will get all the pizza if you take too long. Stupid roofers.

Don’t wear this shirt: to a double feature screening of The Sound Of Music and Mary Poppins. Everyone will think you are in the wrong theater and you’ll be known as “the guy who got lost in the movie theater” and a label like that can stay with you for a long, long time.

This shirt tells the world: We’re not really sure, but we know for a fact it ends in “aaaaaaains”.

We call this color: Oh, Hey Asphalt. We Were Expecting You, Glad You Could Stop By. Hey, Make Yourself At Home Over There On The Couch. How You Been, Anyway? Let Me Get These Drinks And WHAM! WHAM!! HAHAHA! YOU DIDN’T EXPECT THAT SHOVEL TO THE HEAD, DID YOU, ASPHALT? AND NOW YOU’RE DEAD! YOU’RE DEAD AND YOU WON’T EVER COME BACK TO BOTHER US AGAIN! HAHAHAHA! TAKE THAT ASPHALT! TAKE THA… No! No, It’s Not Possible! No, Asphalt! No! You’re Dead! You’re Dead! Stay Back, No! No! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

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Pantone Colors:
Cool Gray 8c - Cool Gray 4c - Black

Standard Brand:

  • Standard fit (slightly boxy, a little loose)
  • Fiber Content: 4.5 oz 100% Combed Ringspun Cotton
  • Manufactured In: Honduras/Nicaragua
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Premium Brand:

  • Slimmer fit (if you like a looser fit, order one size up from your usual size)
  • Fiber Content: 4.2 oz 100% Combed Ringspun Cotton
  • Manufactured In: USA, Central America, Vietnam or Bangladesh
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Sizing Chart:

Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
15m 59.000s
First Sucker:
Last Wooter to Woot:

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 93% second woot
  • 7% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 7% joined today
  • 2% one week old
  • 6% one month old
  • 44% one year old
  • 42% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 93% bought 1
  • 7% bought 2
  • 1% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

Woots by State

zero wooters wootinglots of wooters wooting

Top Comments

What are Top Comments?

Top Comments are discussion forum posts we have deemed worthy of your time. Listen, we get a lot of comments, and most of the time, it's pretty forgettable stuff; but sometimes you rise to the top like butterfat in milk. We don't recommend you base your self-worth on how often we feature your comments, but we don't expressly forbid it either.

join the discussion (193 comments)
  • wootbot

    wootbot Got something of value to say? You'd be the first. Somebody, anybody, give us a quality post. We're dying here.

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Can You Spell BRAAAINS! by dsladek
$11.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$11.00 $14.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.