Choose Wisely

by patrickspens

$15.00
$18.00 17% off List Price

Printed to order.

Ships in 3-5 business days

Asphalt
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The Story Of The Ugly Gobleting

A family of goblets lived near a lake in the forest...

There were the large, ornate parent chalices, and the smaller, newly-hatched gobletings. They were beautiful: Made of shining gold, decorated with gaudy rubies, and filigreed with minute detail.

But one of the gobletings was not like the others. She was a plain, ugly, wooden grail. All her siblings made fun of her and called her names. Eventually the ridicule was too much to bear, and she fled her family and lived alone.  

Many years later, she happened upon a tranquil lake and stooped down to fill herself with water. She suddenly caught a glimpse of herself and gasped: She was just as ugly as she always had been. Morose, she walked into an old dusty cave, planning to lay there forever.

Inside the cave she saw her entire family! The big, parent goblets and the smaller gobletings, all looking as beautiful and shiny as the day she left them. But as she watched, a Nazi drank from one of them and died. Then she felt better about herself.

MORAL: Being ugly is OK; you don't kill as many Nazis.

Wear this shirt: for your stop-motion death scene.

Don't wear this shirt: unwisely.

This shirt tells the world: "What I took from that movie was the religious message."

We call this color: do unto others asphalt would do unto you.

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Features

Pantone Colors:
Black - White - 485C - 1545C - 7511C - 143C

Features:
• Fiber Content: 4.5 oz 100% Combed Ringspun Cotton
• Manufactured In: Honduras/Nicaragua
• Printed In Carrollton, Texas, USA
• These shirts are printed to order. That means most of the time, we'll be printing using DTG technology

Sizing Chart:
Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
0m 46.221s
First Sucker:
fudgeaddict
Last Wooter to Woot:
lovewootshirts

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 95% second woot
  • 5% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 8% joined today
  • 0% one week old
  • 2% one month old
  • 19% one year old
  • 71% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 95% bought 1
  • 4% bought 2
  • 1% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

7%
5%
3%
2%
1%
2%
3%
5%
6%
8%
6%
5%
4%
5%
5%
4%
4%
3%
3%
3%
4%
4%
3%
4%
12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

3%
83%
4%
3%
3%
1%
2%
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

Woots by State

zero wooters wootinglots of wooters wooting

Top Comments

What are Top Comments?

Top Comments are discussion forum posts we have deemed worthy of your time. Listen, we get a lot of comments, and most of the time, it's pretty forgettable stuff; but sometimes you rise to the top like butterfat in milk. We don't recommend you base your self-worth on how often we feature your comments, but we don't expressly forbid it either.

join the discussion (64 comments)
join the discussion (64 comments)
Choose Wisely by patrickspens
$15.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$15.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.