Cotton Armor

by thatrobert

Limit 15 per customer
add to cart

The Sport Of Kings

1st place in Derby #229: Roleplaying in Everyday Life, with 880 votes!

Here we go, midnight central. Everybody roll for initiative. Thirteen or better and you can buy today. Oooo, sorry, Princess Daggerfist, unless you’ve got a Mouse Of Speed on that sheet… nope, trackpads don’t work, sorry. You gotta buy tomorrow at a +5 dollar penalty.

Okay, the rest of you… let’s see, Duke Johann Of Drow-tlanta, you’re up first. What’s your move? You’re going to post in the forums? Okay, well, be aware that’s pretty risky, and if you take too long you might miss your chance to buy. But if that’s what you want to do, get the d20 and… oh, very nice. Very, very nice. You’re getting a quality post for that one. Man, I’m impressed.

All righty, Maggoteye the Pirate. You’re gonna… buy three? Well, well, well! I’m not saying you can’t, I’m just saying you better roll well. 1d4. No, no, right here in the box, where we can see it. Yeah, sure, whatever, just roll it here. No, if I can’t see it, it doesn’t count. And you got… a one. Come on, it didn’t hit the other dice, are you kidding me? Okay, okay, fine, roll it again. Hey, look at that, still a one. Well, them’s the breaks. Maggoteye, just as you finish entering your details, the site goes down with a server issue. You can try again later this afternoon, or take the penalty with Princess Daggerfist.

Duke Johann, the forums are still up so you’re not affected! Roll a percentile please… wow, nice. Okay, you feel a cold chill and the room goes foggy, and suddenly, your post has been replied to by… Joel! Yeah, and he likes it, too! Suddenly you’ve got 1d6 sycophants on the forums… okay, Maggoteye, yes, I’ll let you post a link to Duke Johann’s Facebook page and gain 1d2 sycophants of your own. Duh, it’s called a coin, lame-o. Here, heads is one, tails is two. And you get… one. Man, it’s just not your night, is it?

No, your follower can’t be Travis. He’s an NPC now, don’t you remember?

Wear this shirt: because it takes too long to put on Full Dwarven Plate.

Don’t wear this shirt: if you’re REALLY going to be mad about having to imagine the pocket. Look, it’s called role-playing, okay? If you can make it happen with magic missile, you can make it happen with an imaginary pocket.

This shirt tells the world: “Funny enough, it also works on Athas!”

We call this color: Mordenkainen’s Enrobing Slate

Back to top


Standard Brand:

  • Standard fit (slightly boxy, a little loose)
  • Fiber Content: 4.5 oz 100% Combed Ringspun Cotton
  • Manufactured In: Honduras/Nicaragua
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Premium Brand:

  • Slimmer fit (if you like a looser fit, order one size up from your usual size)
  • Fiber Content: 4.2 oz 100% Combed Ringspun Cotton
  • Manufactured In: USA, Central America, Vietnam or Bangladesh
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Sizing Chart:

Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
0m 53.000s
First Sucker:
Last Wooter to Woot:

Purchaser Experience

  • 11% first woot
  • 6% second woot
  • 27% < 10 woots
  • 26% < 25 woots
  • 31% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 8% joined today
  • 1% one week old
  • 3% one month old
  • 16% one year old
  • 72% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 87% bought 1
  • 10% bought 2
  • 3% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Woots by State

zero wooters wootinglots of wooters wooting

Top Comments

What are Top Comments?

Top Comments are discussion forum posts we have deemed worthy of your time. Listen, we get a lot of comments, and most of the time, it's pretty forgettable stuff; but sometimes you rise to the top like butterfat in milk. We don't recommend you base your self-worth on how often we feature your comments, but we don't expressly forbid it either.

join the discussion (133 comments)
join the discussion (133 comments)
Cotton Armor by thatrobert
$11.00 Sold Out Apparel & Accessories
$11.00 $14.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.