In general we go for kids shows that are “edutaining” more than “terrifying.”

So first off I really want to say that we appreciate you guys submitting your scripts. It’s great to see new programming ideas and we’re big fans of innovation in entertainment. It’s just that, well, we tested it with some five year olds and they have yet to stop screaming.

So we have some notes.

First off, the kids really liked the young female protagonist with the pigtails, at least until she peeled off her face to reveal the weird smiling avatar. Whispers the Overly Quiet Talking Pillow didn’t seem too popular either. Ditto for Waily, the Wailing Whale. Kids like the idea of a friendly whale, but the unending torrent of crimson tears that pour from his eyes seemed pretty disconcerting.

Also, and I know this might seem surprising, the disembodied hands that periodically reach in from off-screen to menace the main characters don’t really test well. The ghostly, moaning, anthropomorphized books really bothered kids too. And the homoerotic rainbow just led to questions parents don’t like to answer because they feel like kids aren’t real people and shouldn’t have to see the real world.

Other than that, it was great. We’ll look for the new script tomorrow!

Wear this shirt: When faced with the cruel banality of fluorescent-lit office life. Don’t let them crush your soul, man.

Don’t wear this shirt: If you’re actually writing a children’s show like that. Rip off!

This shirt tells the world: “You think this shirt LOOKS good? You should hear how the colors taste.”

We call this color: Lysergic Lemon

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