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Feeling Self-Conscious

by ncowick

$19.00 + free shipping

Color Royal Blue

Style Tee

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Quantity Limit 15 per customer

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Standard - Estimated delivery Nov 29 - Dec 1
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Same Old Routine & Microscopy

You can't spell optimist or pessimist without p.

Look, doc: I like a pop-philosophy discussion as much as the next guy who has applied for a job driving forklifts. It'd be fun, in a back-in-college kind of way, to sit here all day and muse on whether that cup I just peed into is half-full or half-empty. Especially if we're also watching Judge Judy, or some infomercials.

But that part of my life is over. The only question I care about now is whether that cup contains traces of any controlled substances. So if you could just send it off to the lab or do whatever you have to do so I can get this forklift gig moving, I'd appreciate it. I gave up wondering whether we all see the same colors when I gave up smoking weed. Which, for the record, was a lot longer than 30 days ago.

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