Fire Dancer

by Annajo

$18.00 + free shipping

Printed to order.

Ships in 3-5 business days

Asphalt
Limit 15 per customer
add to cart

Why Would Wiki Lie

1st place in Derby #59: At The Luau, with 661 votes!

This shirt made us immediately think about hula, and we were going to talk a little bit about the traditions and culture behind hula and maybe make a few jokes about topless women, you know, the regular stuff. But then, during our research, we discovered the hula maʻi. From what little we read, the hula maʻi is apparently a dance done to celebrate the High Chief’s genitals. Isn’t that the most amazing thing?

Why hasn’t this part of Hawaiian culture caught on with the mainland? We’ve got tiki mugs and flower necklaces and little dolls that haunt the Brady Bunch but no genital celebration dances. Step it up, Marsha! Tell you what, you want to impress the head of a multi-national into giving you an interview, a genital celebration dance is the way to do it. Just, for Heaven’s sake, don’t get anything wrong. Even the slightest mistake in the hula maʻi can bring everyone years of bad luck. And of course, it would be disrespectful to the genitals of the chief. A chief is going to remember things like that.

This shirt was designed by: Annajo, who probably had no idea we were going to take this lovely shirt and turn it into a discussion regarding the genitals of the rich and powerful. We hope you didn’t tell your mom to be here today.

Wear this shirt: to show that you probably have a copy of Papua New Guinea in your record box. And if you don’t, why don’t you? There are like three thousand different versions out there, there’s gotta be at least one you like.

Don’t wear this shirt: and expect to be ignored. People are going to notice a shirt like this. People who will come up and say things about genitals. And you’ll have to be prepared.

This shirt tells the world: “Hit me with your Kālaʻau! Hit me! Hit me!”

We call this color: Don’t Drop That Here Or You’ll Melt The Asphalt

Back to top

Features

Pantone Colors:
White - 100C - 116C - 1235C - 138C - BLACK

Features:
• Fiber Content: 4.5 oz 100% Combed Ringspun Cotton
• Manufactured In: Honduras/Nicaragua
• Printed In Carrollton, Texas, USA
• These shirts are printed to order. That means most of the time, we'll be printing using DTG technology

Sizing Chart:
Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
0m 8.000s
First Sucker:
midnight0000
Last Wooter to Woot:
adrielginsburg

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 93% second woot
  • 7% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 9% joined today
  • 1% one week old
  • 5% one month old
  • 44% one year old
  • 41% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 93% bought 1
  • 6% bought 2
  • 1% bought 3

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

18%
7%
3%
2%
2%
2%
3%
7%
6%
8%
7%
6%
4%
4%
3%
3%
3%
2%
2%
2%
2%
1%
2%
2%
12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

1%
0%
0%
0%
97%
1%
1%
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

Woots by State

zero wooters wootinglots of wooters wooting

Top Comments

What are Top Comments?

Top Comments are discussion forum posts we have deemed worthy of your time. Listen, we get a lot of comments, and most of the time, it's pretty forgettable stuff; but sometimes you rise to the top like butterfat in milk. We don't recommend you base your self-worth on how often we feature your comments, but we don't expressly forbid it either.

join the discussion (154 comments)
  • wootbot

    wootbot Got something of value to say? You'd be the first. Somebody, anybody, give us a quality post. We're dying here.

join the discussion (154 comments)