Gettysburg Address

by Shigwarm

$15.00
$18.00 17% off List Price

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Abe “The Ham” Lincoln

First Place in Derby #36 (Text As Art), with 886 votes!

“Hello, Gettysburg! How y’all doin’ today? Nice day to dedicate a cemetery, hunh? Listen, I’m going to be brief, because I know a lot of people are dying to get in there. Heh! Heh!

“But seriously. I’ve been to a lot of Civil War memorials, and I just want to say that Gettysburg really knows how to put one of these on. That’s right, give yourselves a hand! I was just up in Appomattox for one of these staged ferrotype ops you have to do, and let me tell you—those Virginians think they’re pretty solemn. I want to say to them—if you want to see solemnity, you come to Gettysburg! Yeah!

“But I gotta mention your mayor! Woodforde J. Chesterview, mayor of Gettysburg. Listen, this guy—he’s a nice guy, but I’m not sure you want him overseeing the town’s budget. You know what he said to me when I arrived just now? He said ‘Mister President, do you have a twin brother? Because I need change for Alexander Hamilton.’ Heh! Heh!

“But seriously. I want to thank the Ladies’ Auxiliary for the great spread they put together. Give them a hand. Wasn’t the food great? I had about fifteen of those cheese muffins, I couldn’t help myself. They’re going to stop calling me ‘the Great Emancipator’ and start calling me ‘the Greatly Constipated.’ I’m serious! Heh! Heh!

“But seriously, folks—four score and seven years ago…”

This shirt was designed by: Shigwarm, whose favorite president is actually Garfield.

Wear this shirt: for major suck-up points with your American History teacher.

Don’t wear this shirt: to anyone’s home who owns a bumper sticker emblazoned with the words “will rise again.”

This shirt tells the world: “When I described myself as ‘buff’ in my personals ad, I meant ‘Civil War buff.’”

We call this color: Manassas Grass

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Features

Pantone Colors:
- 553C - 7483C - 351C

Features:
• Fiber Content: 4.5 oz 100% Combed Ringspun Cotton
• Manufactured In: Honduras/Nicaragua
• Printed In Carrollton, Texas, USA
• These shirts are printed to order. That means most of the time, we'll be printing using DTG technology

Sizing Chart:
Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
0m 10.000s
First Sucker:
doctorthodt
Last Wooter to Woot:
Readyaimtornado

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 94% second woot
  • 6% < 10 woots
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Purchaser Seniority

  • 8% joined today
  • 2% one week old
  • 5% one month old
  • 40% one year old
  • 46% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 94% bought 1
  • 5% bought 2
  • 1% bought 3 or more

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Gettysburg Address by Shigwarm
$15.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$15.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
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4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.