Happy Hallowoot! Be sure to take a moment to notice our exclamatory pumpkin logo, because we think it’s really cool. We also thought about calling this “All Woot’s Day” but it didn’t really have the same feel. But whatever the day is to you, here is the shirt to celebrate it!

This adorable shirt, as you’ve probably noticed, is printed with glow-in-the-dark ink. You probably also noticed it makes the pirate ghost look like it used too much lipstick, but don’t focus on that. Instead, let’s discuss the Frankenstein’s Monster ghost.

The very concept of a Frankenstein’s Monster ghost calls into question everything we know about souls. Frankenstein’s Monster, as you may recall, was made from assembling the leftovers of dozens of strangers, like a cheap PC or meat loaf from a diner. To have a single ghost arise from that implies that the soul is a thing that can be designed by man. For should not the soul appear as the original owner of the brain, or the leg, or wherever the soul was housed? The idea that a Frankenstein’s Monster could have a personal ghost that looks like the sewn-together body calls into question every theory of the afterlife which every religion in the world has put forth. And that’s a pretty impressive thing for a Halloween shirt to accomplish.

Also now you’ve got something to discuss around the punchbowl at the Philosophy of Religion party.

Wear this shirt:

when they stick you in the closet to play “Seven Minutes In Heaven”. If you’re with the wrong person, the sudden appearance of the glowing letters will make them recoil with terror and you won’t have to do anything. And if you’re with the right person, you can just take it off.

Don’t wear this shirt: around sensitive ex-hippies who do lots of stuff with crystals and out-of-body projection. They’ll try to guide your shirt towards the light, and it won’t work in the light, so you’ll get mad.

This shirt tells the world: “I become more attractive as it gets darker!”

We call this color: Orange You Prepared For Other Wooters To Walk Up And Start Talking To You About Frankenstein Ghosts When They See This In The Wild? You Better Be!

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