We’re getting back to our roots. Or the roots we had when we weren’t stacks of dead flesh.

Brains these days just aren’t what they used to be. All the hormones, the preservatives, the weird memories – that stuff’s bad for you! Seriously, you bite into one and all you taste is misinformation. Ugh! No thanks! We’re tired of putting that stuff in our scarred, dead, decaying bodies! We need sustenance we can believe in!

That’s why we were really excited to get involved with the whole new “back to the earth” farming movement that the kids are doing these days. Sure, some people weren’t too excited to have us around. They said our nutritional urges were dangerous. We tried to explain that it’s not our fault, that, just like they might have the urge to eat a greasy burger, we feel the need to consume brains. But they wouldn’t listen. And so, well, long story short: we ate most of the nay sayers. And a few of the very welcoming folks too. I mean, they were so welcoming they didn’t even defend themselves!

Anyway, it sure is great to be one with the land! We feel so alive! Well, maybe “alive” is the wrong word…

Wear this shirt: if you’ve got meetings with the Agriculture Club and the Horror Movie Enthusiasts Club and you don’t have time to change between.

Don’t wear this shirt: after the real zombie apocalypse; it might seem tasteless and offensive to the walking dead.

This shirt tells the world: “Most hip, young farmers are dead on the inside.”

We call this color: freshly grown grass

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