Grim Optimism

by ramyb

$15.00
$18.00 17% off List Price

Printed to order.

Ships in 3-5 business days

Asphalt
New
Limit 15 per customer
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It’s Death’s World; You’re Just a Squirrel

1st place in Derby #73: Optimism, with 1800 votes!

Hewwo widdle fuzzy fwiend! Aren’t you the sweetest widdle chubby widdle fuzzy-wuzzy-cutie-patootie! Look at that chubby-wubby belly! I just want to eat you up, you’re such a sweetie-petey! Yes you are! Oh, yes you are! Look at yoouuu!

Aww, is that for me? Did widdle fuzzy-wuzzy sweetie-pie bwing me a widdle nut? Did you bwing me a widdle acorn? Did you? Well, thank you vewwy much! Yes, thank you widdle fuzzy bubbeleh! Aren’t you the sweetest widdle fuzzy! Yes you are! Such a widdle sweetie! I wuv you, wittle fuzzy-poo! Oh yes I do! Oh yes I do!

Sigh! That’s the cutest thing ever. I wish I had a camera. It’s moments like these that make the death biz worthwhile.

Now come, squirrel; your time is at an end.

This shirt was designed by: ramyb, that mysterious figure who rode out of the east to conquer two Derbies in a row. You know, you can still buy last week’s winner, Two Fish Who Are Red And Blue.

Wear this shirt: to your summer job at your dad’s extermination and animal control company.

Don’t wear this shirt: to funerals. Except maybe squirrel funerals, where no one really cares what you wear, since they’re more occupied with the question of why you’re holding a funeral for a consarned squirrel.

This shirt tells the world: “Nuts to you, Death!”

We call this color: Acorny Pun Involving The Word Asphalt

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Features

Features:
• Fiber Content: 4.5 oz 100% Combed Ringspun Cotton
• Manufactured In: Honduras/Nicaragua
• Printed In Carrollton, Texas, USA
• These shirts are printed to order. That means most of the time, we'll be printing using DTG technology

Sizing Chart:
Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
0m 19.000s
First Sucker:
MonkeyDLuffy
Last Wooter to Woot:
3quach

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 95% second woot
  • 5% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 15% joined today
  • 4% one week old
  • 7% one month old
  • 39% one year old
  • 36% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 95% bought 1
  • 4% bought 2
  • 1% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

18%
8%
5%
3%
2%
2%
3%
5%
5%
3%
3%
4%
3%
4%
3%
3%
3%
3%
3%
3%
3%
3%
3%
3%
12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

10%
9%
9%
8%
44%
10%
9%
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

Woots by State

zero wooters wootinglots of wooters wooting

Top Comments

What are Top Comments?

Top Comments are discussion forum posts we have deemed worthy of your time. Listen, we get a lot of comments, and most of the time, it's pretty forgettable stuff; but sometimes you rise to the top like butterfat in milk. We don't recommend you base your self-worth on how often we feature your comments, but we don't expressly forbid it either.

join the discussion (216 comments)
  • wootbot

    wootbot Got something of value to say? You'd be the first. Somebody, anybody, give us a quality post. We're dying here.

join the discussion (216 comments)
Grim Optimism by ramyb
$15.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$15.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.