I Just Call it Housekeeping

by tgentry

$15.00
$18.00 17% off List Price

Printed to order.

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Distilled Water Will Extend The Life Of Your Iron

2nd place in Derby #113: Harvest, with 1177 votes!

So this guy comes in, and he’s got like twenty mouths and a hundred squiggly arms and he’s from one of those dimensions that go for 100k a month, right, and he’s all “where are my souls” and I’m like “hey, if you don’t have a ticket, you don’t have any souls” and he’s like “they’re Pre-Sumerian and bound to my worship” and I’m like “I don’t care what they are, you don’t have a ticket, I’m not giving you a damn thing” and so he gets my manager, and my manager backs me, for once, right? And then the guy leaves.

So then, about an epoch later, he comes back in and slams the ticket down on the counter like he’s won some major interdimensional war, you know, and I’m like “good for you, squiggles", although I can’t say that, and I get his souls, and he’s like “get me your manager.” and I’m all like “what’s wrong?” and he’s like “i said get me your manager” and so I do, and it turns out the guy asked for the button up corrupt souls to be ironed, which isn’t even my job, that goth chick who reads comic books all day is supposed to handle that, but now it’s either take care of it or get devoured, because he’s apparently some kind of big shot devourer or something, and so I have to work another two hours getting his souls all flat, and the whole time he’s just standing there grinning this… well, not really a grin, because he didn’t really have teeth, but his mouth arms were really smugly placed.

I tell you, I gotta look into going back to college.

Wear this shirt: if you’re hot and flat. OHMYGOD that came out SO wrong! We totally didn’t mean it that way, we weren’t even looking at your- well, okay we’re looking now, obviously, but that’s just because we’re trying to apologize for how we said you were- when you’re clearly the exact opposite of- you know what, maybe we’ll just move on.

Don’t wear this shirt: if you’re that poster who thinks we make sex jokes too much. Really, we have no idea what you’re talking about, sir or madam. We’re pure as virgin snow.

This shirt tells the world: “Death Be Not Wrinkly”

We call this color: Navy Neck

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Features

Pantone Colors:
BlackC -WhiteC - Cool Gray 9C - 802C- 362C - 554C - 5493C

Features:
• Fiber Content: 4.5 oz 100% Combed Ringspun Cotton
• Manufactured In: Honduras/Nicaragua
• Printed In Carrollton, Texas, USA
• These shirts are printed to order. That means most of the time, we'll be printing using DTG technology

Sizing Chart:
Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
1m 55.000s
First Sucker:
papawoot
Last Wooter to Woot:
kr888

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 93% second woot
  • 7% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 8% joined today
  • 2% one week old
  • 5% one month old
  • 36% one year old
  • 49% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 93% bought 1
  • 6% bought 2
  • 2% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

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Percentage of Sales Per Day

4%
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81%
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Woots by State

zero wooters wootinglots of wooters wooting

Top Comments

What are Top Comments?

Top Comments are discussion forum posts we have deemed worthy of your time. Listen, we get a lot of comments, and most of the time, it's pretty forgettable stuff; but sometimes you rise to the top like butterfat in milk. We don't recommend you base your self-worth on how often we feature your comments, but we don't expressly forbid it either.

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I Just Call it Housekeeping by tgentry
$15.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$15.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.