I'm on a Roll!

by ochopika

$11.00$14.00

Printed to order

Ships in 1-2 business days.

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New
Red
Limit 15 per customer
  • Standard - Estimated delivery Jul 05 - Jul 10
  • Two-Day - Estimated delivery Jun 30
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Melting

The butter does not have a Merry Christmas.

After being placed upon the hot surface of the bread, the butter said, "Hey, I'm really on a roll here," and then he chuckled to himself, but just for an instant before quickly falling quiet.

The reason for his silence was because, truthfully, aside from the in the literal sense, the piece of butter was very much not "on a roll." He had spent the lion share of his life as part of a hardened stick, doing nothing but dreaming of all he might accomplish once released from his prison inside the refrigerator door.

Now, though, he began to fear that perhaps he had been naive, perhaps he had imagined an impossible future for himself. Looking down, he could see his base melting, the liquid confirmation of his own fleeting mortality. No, he realized, this was all his life would ever be, just a piece of butter rapidly being absorbed by a dinner roll, which would soon itself be eaten, digested, and forgotten forever.

Merry Christmas.

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Features

Standard Brand:

  • Standard fit (slightly boxy, a little loose)
  • Fiber Content: 4.5 oz 100% Combed Ringspun Cotton
  • Manufactured In: Honduras/Nicaragua
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Premium Brand:

  • Slimmer fit (if you like a looser fit, order one size up from your usual size)
  • Fiber Content: 4.2 oz 100% Combed Ringspun Cotton
  • Manufactured In: USA, Central America, Vietnam or Bangladesh
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Sizing Chart:

Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
3m 45.002s
First Sucker:
ericz1990
Last Wooter to Woot:
locabb2

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 93% second woot
  • 7% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 10% joined today
  • 1% one week old
  • 1% one month old
  • 10% one year old
  • 78% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 93% bought 1
  • 6% bought 2
  • 1% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

7%
5%
4%
1%
1%
2%
3%
4%
7%
6%
5%
7%
5%
4%
4%
5%
4%
3%
4%
3%
4%
5%
3%
4%
12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

5%
3%
69%
6%
6%
5%
5%
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

Woots by State

zero wooters wootinglots of wooters wooting

Top Comments

What are Top Comments?

Top Comments are discussion forum posts we have deemed worthy of your time. Listen, we get a lot of comments, and most of the time, it's pretty forgettable stuff; but sometimes you rise to the top like butterfat in milk. We don't recommend you base your self-worth on how often we feature your comments, but we don't expressly forbid it either.

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join the discussion (36 comments)
I'm on a Roll! by ochopika
$11.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$11.00 $14.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.