Look, we don’t want to be all down on the product or anything, but… “Jack The Ripbee”? That made the cut, huh?

No “Dr. Jeckyl And Mr. Hive”, no “Lizbee Borden”, no “Myra Hindbee”, but good ol’ “Jack The Ripbee”, right up at the tippy tippy top?

Listen, we’re not against the basic idea of this shirt. “Bomblebee” made us writers laugh, and so did “Poison IBee”. And maybe, MAYBE we can assume that “Buzzy Osbourne” would be dark enough to be included with the other so-called Killer Bees. He certainly got enough bad press over the years, and there was that whole incident with the poor innocent bat. But if that’s the case, where’s “Jerry Bee Lewis”? Where’s “Courtbee Love”? And, for that matter, why is “Cebeerus” even on there? Because, far as we know, that poor dog never killed anybody while guarding the already-dead.

See, a joke like “Beelzebuzz” is going to get you a lot of credit, but you can only ride that credit so far before people start asking questions like “Where’s Bee Harvey Oswald?” or “What about John Wayne Gacebee?” or “Why didn’t you include Richard Beemirez or the Zodbeeac Killer?” and then, what are you going to say? That you just weren’t willing to go far enough for your art?

Feel that passion and your heart and let it go. These aren’t just bees. They’re a canvas. They’re a reflection of the world.

Wear this shirt: anywhere from Southern Brazil to, oo, about the Chesapeake Bay. Anything else is probably going to end up leaving you insufficient stores to survive the winter.


Don’t wear this shirt: around the studio heads who were in charge of Saturday Night Live’s first episode. They hated those killer bees so much.


This shirt tells the world: “No, he’s cute enough, I suppose, it’s just… Jack the RIPBEE? Really?”


We call this color: Lemon Bees, Lemon Bees, Lemon Bees, Oh, Lemon Bees, They Are On Your Tee Shirt, Lemon Bees, Eeeeeeee.

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