1st place in Derby #137: Luck, with 1334 votes!

This is a much better idea than when I tried to get all those rabbit’s feet. Less messy, too.

I’ve tried everything. I shoved pepper up my nose until I sneezed three time before breakfast. I’ve picked up enough pennies to buy 157 items from a drive-thru dollar menu. I’ve ruined countless tablecloths spilling wine during toasts. I’ve even starting raising lady bugs in my backyard just to make sure that one lands on me every single day. And I don’t even want to get into how much neck pain I’ve given myself trying to look at the new moon over my right shoulder.

But this? This is my finest moment. Look out, Las Vegas. Mr. Lucky McLuckyperson is gonna take you by storm.

Wear this shirt: after a plush black cat has crossed your path.

Don’t wear this shirt: while watching the movie Leprechaun or any of its unnecessary sequels.

This shirt tells the world: “Hokey superstitions and ancient shillelaghs are no match for a good tape dispenser at your side, kid.”

We call this color: Bobby O’Brown

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