1st place in Derby #179: When Toys Attack, with 632 votes!

Toys are for fun, of course. But as surely as a kitten develops its nascent hunting skills by friskily batting a drinking straw around the floor, so too do our human young learn and hone their essential life skills by playing.

Building blocks make great toys for this reason. Not only do they provide limitless creative amusement, but by stacking them atop one another, children practice fine motor skills, they learn about rudimentary physics, they learn the perseverance required to successfully complete a project in spite of setbacks, and they experience the pride of accomplishment that comes from all constructive activity.

It’s natural for young people to experiment with destructive impulses. It can be difficult for them to exercise the necessary patience to stack blocks in a tower—and far easier to indulge the whim to knock them down. But the satisfaction derived from introducing chaos is fleeting compared to the long-term gratification of imposing ord—OH, COME ON, HONEY, DON’T DO SALLYZILLA AGAIN, I JUST GOT THOSE TO BALANCE.

Wear this shirt: on whaaampages.

Don’t wear this shirt: to sleep in, if you sleep many fathoms below the surface of the ocean, in atomic testing zones.

This shirt tells the world: “People who live in building-block houses shouldn’t throw fits.”

We call this color: DestRoyal Blue Monsters

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