1st place in Derby #281: Things That Start With The Letter N, with 420 votes!

Algernon licked his paw absently, basking in the sunlight. Suddenly, a key turned in the door. "DANGER! DANGER!" an inner voice told him, and he thrust his fat body from the windowsill. The door opened -- who is it? -- relief -- it was only Owner.

But wait, who is that behind Owner? An unknown woman! "DANGER! DANGER!" the shrill voice trumpeted, compelling him to safety. He wedged himself underneath the sofa and fled to the furthermost corner. "No she-witch shall eat me here!" Algernon said, soothing his frayed nerves.

"Awwww! A kitty! Does she want to play?" The strange woman said in her grating human-voice. Suddenly she was on all fours, reaching beneath the sofa. The impertinence! Algernon backed further into the corner between the wall and the sofa. Still her hand advanced.

"Ummm. You might not want to do that." Owner said, but it was too late. A swipe, a yelp, and the strange woman fell back from the sofa, clutching her hand.

Algernon licked his paw absently.

Wear this shirt: as a protective glyph.

Don't wear this shirt: around your more neurotic cats.

This shirt tells the world: "All cats go to heaven. Eventually."

We call this color: The Pearly Slates

Back to top